Flashback

cuti lagi tiga hari. korg rase kalau aku tambah lagi dua hari kena pape tindakan tak? takkan. tapi memandangkan aku nak pmr, so adela jugak nak buang tebiat lama tu barang sedikit.

great. homework banyak mcm cuti semester pertama je. ok i'm not exaggerating here lah. tadi since uda the third bro couldnt reach mama's cell, so he called me instead. he asked blabla and whether i had my homeworks done.

uda : kau maen internet eh? homework da siap belom?

aku : belumlaaaaaa

uda : siapkan laa homework kau duluuuuuu

aku : da siap sikitlaa. wehhh i has life also u knew *melanggar peraturan tatabahasa ngn uda dah jd hobi. boleh tensyenkan die secara percuma

uda : ah tak. kau mane ade life

aku : *menjerit2 histeria.

die ye laa takde life. duduk-skola-sains-since-form-one-and-one-of-pahang's-best-spm-candidates. ape je life die kat skola sains? blaja and maen bola sampai boleh kurus secara drastik walaupon baru 2 bulan dok asrama sampai mak aku risau kotkot kena ragging. tapi, bila difikirkan balik, that is some sort of a life if things u do can help u reduce weight.

and, yang paling undeniable, living in a boarding school was the only kind of life and the perfect future that i could see back then. so, camne pon he had a more so called life than i do. huh.

i always think that my life now has been something like the lost series.

the flashbacks never end.

jalan2 sikit, nampak orang maen galah panjang, flashback.

jalan2 sikit, nampak orang pakai cam sopan, flashback.

jalan2 sikit, flashback flashback flachback tak habes2.

the walking images that i am the only one who can see it are none other than my previous life in mrsm.

seriously. when i get these flashbacks, i cant help imagining a camera is recording my movement and the way i recall the memories, moving from an angle to another, and then showing the memories, my past to the devoted audience. only the audience is myself watching me remembering and my expressions and what are the things i recall.

well, u got the idea of me being one of the character in lost series. flashbacks and returning, flashbacks and returning, the circle never stops.

of all the things that happened to me, my childhood, my happy days of playing, my sklk, my immature flirting moments, my bad hours, the strongest memories that i will never forget a millisecond of them and the ones that keep coming back is the one when i belonged in mrsm.

no matter how happy other memories are, maybe some of them even the happiest, but mrsm's happy moments are the ones that make me smile often. no matter how bad other memories are, maybe some of them even the worst, but mrsm's bad moments are the ones that make me cringe often.

i dont even know why. of course my early school hours during sklk have me daydreaming, but only rarely.

and i know if i tell people about my 'lost' moments, they will be bored to death and think

"cant this girl just move on or else, SHUT UP?"

well friends, i have moved on.

the memories are the ones who keep visiting me.

what is the point of not moving on if i was the one who choose not to stay?