dedicated for my diary

tau takk. aku ade satu blog. lamaaa da wujud even before aku buat blog ni.
mase aku form one kot rasenya.
and i wrote any unusual or special things that happened.
or just when i was in a heavy emotion. either way.
but never the borink routines from day to day, and never the kind of things u always read here.

not about books or movies,
just something too personal to share, things i wouldnt be able to share with any humanbeing. and that means a lot.

from this story to another, from this emotion to a total change of feelings, everything.
the bad and the good seem to be so, expensive to share. to let people know.
from all type of experience i wrote there;
the mature one, the think-too-much amalina, to the part where i laid my exciting teenage experiences safely in the blog. i'm not the kind of person who jump up and down whenever something interesting hit me, not the kind of person who creep over my fate. well, frankly the latter is a bit true. i always mourn, but not more. of course sometimes i slipped it out; flapping my hands and blushing and laughing ke ape ke, well u get the image of a girl excting over something. but never the whole truth.

what brought me to this topic? none, kot. i was just reading through all the posts in my private blog, and i remembered the emotions i felt, i was laughing and feeling gloomy whereever appropriate. i remembered those times. as if it was long ago, years ago, for the good things. and for the bad, i can remember it clearly as if it happened just recently. ahh.

my last update was on oct 25, 2008.
ya sgt tah hape hape lamanya.
its not like i didnt have anything to say,
instead it was the total opposite. i had LOTS TO TELL.
but somehow i was just, well, didnt write it.
the time was running and the experience was flying and the memory was fading,
but still, till now,
the feeling is recalling.

really. i always knew that.
walau selama mana pun bnda tu semua dah berlalu,
walaupun aku sendiri dah lupa gambaran sebenar,
masa,
perkataan,
semua la kan time tu,
tapi sebab bnda tu kuat melekat dlm hati,
jadi tak kesah bertahun lama pon,
aku akan ingat perasaan tu,

kadang2 bnda yg dah lama, aku tak ingat pon detail terperinci pape yg patut.
tapi aku ingat ape aku rase.

so the concept can be applied on my next agenda,
no matter how long i feel the time had passed
no matter how blurry all the details,
but the feeling is what matters most.

i will recall from the day i last wrote in my cyber diary
and catching up with good memories although they were all gone now.
i know some good things appear to be temporary in my life,
but i have to capture it. and once in a while i will recall it,
smiling at the thought of my previous self.

and i will scribble the times when things are bad,
and not afraid to cringe at the bad episodes
as like it or not,
the episodes are just the way of life.

why put it all behind?
the past no matter how bitter it could be,
or how it will never stop being pleasant,
are all just some sort of an entertainment now.

WARNING: COPYRIGHTED WHATEVER TWISTING POEM ABOVE.