the truth is, i doubt myself a lot now. i have regrets too. i too feel what am i doing with my life, what path have i chosen for myself, how will life go for me like this. but it is not as bad as it was last year i guess, so i don't really care about having this negativity. because i thought i was getting better. how i perceive my choices was getting better, how i accept my consequences had getting better; not necessarily mean that it was i who did better at anything.
maybe i don't want to admit it, because it would be a shame if i was to be exposed as this doubtful young adult, when i was once an adolescent with conviction.
i am the type of person who builds myself on the foundation of dreams, faith and goals - that it is easy to get what i want if i just know. but it is also easy to lose my direction if i lack such destination, that i don't try at all. i don't see the point of doing so if i don't see where i will end up to be. i don't remember if i ever blogged about this, but it was bad - the way i completely lost myself. from the highest perk to rock bottom, going along with life day in and day out, but didn't actually live or wanted to see what life had got.
