Maisarah Shukri :)

"Hepi beday sayanggg. may Allah bless you and grant you all your prayers. May you get all the happiness and success in the world and hereafter. May you find a good guy you deserve Mai. matriks takleh kawen so you're gonna have to wait for another year, hehe. I miss you Mai, and all those days-"

so, that's my birthday wish text i didn't send to you. cos in the middle of typing 'those days', it occurred to me, why don't i just blog about you?

In The Biru Book, you wrote a Diary of Ama and Me (simplified version). way back to 1998 which i don't really member. but you always do. you remember how we played my, i quote you, "beautiful green ball which i was always jealous of" (WHY WOULD YOU?! oh those days when girls get jealous because of balls instead of boys~) and when i left it at Maktok's you felt glad that i did (evil lil Mai), how i said i wanted "tupi" instead of kopi, you remember our childhood together.

the Diary went on and on from 2001 to 2011, our childhood transformed to be our school years, from being little girls we became teenagers. now it's my turn to make a summary of our history, ehhem.

but before that, ni surat yang you selit sekali dalam The Biru Book, Letter to Amalina. surat yang you suruh i baca tahun ni, siap ada amaran ("Maisarah trusts you, God is watching...") tapi sorry ah Mai, lepas i dapat terus i baca. tak cukup amaran tu hahahha jahat ama.

please tell me it's your tears messing up the word 'syurga'. because i sure had tears in my eyes reading this, Mai. i love you. Insyaallah, friends forever, not until death do us apart, but until Jannah, insyaallah.

SKLK, WEC

Hari first darjah 1 kita dua segan nak tegur each other kan? those days of bouncing balls ended when we both entered kindergarten. i did when i was 6, i am not sure whether you did when you were 6 as well or earlier. but i do remember Maktok showed mama and i a picture of you in your kindergarten uniform, they were talking bout you and i could not help feeling a lil bit jealous. to this day, i have no idea what was the jealousy for.

in Buku Biru you mentioned how in class i sat at yellow (i thought blue?) table, and you were jealous again because it was the coolest table in the class and the yellow group even had recess together.... you thought we were cool? ah the vanity of 7-year-olds.

time tu i ada geng sendiri and you ada geng sendiri (pergh darjah 1 dah assabiah). we were friends but i remember you lagi rapat dengan one particular person... who two years later was jealous of me because i got closer to you. she even asked who would you pick her or me... or something like that. when we walked together she would pull you away from me and bisik-bisik. LOLOL. in real world, not only love triangles can't work out, but trio friendships can't, too. tsk.

Beday Nad Fitri, 2011

then came the glamorous two years of the famous WEC.... HAHA ORANG LAIN YANG CAKAP EH :3 DALAM BUKU BIRU AB PUN RAMAI YANG CAKAP PASAL WEC LAGI. we were like those chicks at high school on tv you see. the only difference was kita baru sekolah rendah dah macam-macam. ah, those days. at least kita buat perangai masa tu kan Mai, masuk sekolah menengah terus insaf.... kononnyalah.

sebelum masuk kelas hari-hari meeting kat meja kayu depan koridor tu (yang Nad carve nama pakwe mudanya di situ), dah masuk kelas keluar lagi pergi toilet pakai perapi sunsilk dan bagi yang bertudung seperti kita dua, betulkan tudung yang dililinkan. i yang paling jarang pergi toilet dulu, sebab Ais and Nas salu pergi berdua je then dorang pernah terasa sebab i malas nak keluar kelas HAHAH. i jugak yang salu tak join extra line korang buat ikut suka hati mak bapak korang time perhimpunan, gila vip siap ada extra line untuk WEC. line paling bising lak tu, tak dapat i dengar ucapan guru besar... hahah. tapi serious dari dulu i kena dok diam dengar ucapan orang sebab kesian kat orang tu kalau i bising. tsk.

"During recess we were like a pack of mean girls" - Buku Biru. i rasa ni pengaruh Mean Girls lah, kan tengah femes time tu. WEC pun jadi Mean Girls SKLK. ada meja rehat sendiri, budak sebaya kita memang takkan duduk kat meja kita. tapi budak lagi kecik.. kita dok sebelah dia kacau sampai dia blah. i kept on hitting younger boys until they left the table, scared of me. akak tak halaula, akak ngorat je pun dah takut?

kita potong line beratur "dek, akak selit beratur sini eh? alaa baiknya adik niii", atau kita suruh je junior belikan makanan "dek, belikan eh? baki simpan. alaa baiknya diaaa" padahal dalam hati budak tu mesti maki kita hahaa. 

despite all that, i believe we had many friends outside our WEC circle. kita kawan dengan semua orang kan? semua kelas. semua umur. it was a time when we had many friends but zero enemy. i miss that time and i miss those people.

WEC jalan ramai-ramai pun mesti nak berderet, takkan kasi laluan untuk orang lain, ponteng kelas tambahan lepak kat playground depan kedai mamak pastu kena kejar dengan cikgu sampai lari bertempiaran menyorok merata-rata, buat kecoh dekat kantin dengan pertandingan makan keropok lekor, setiap hujung keropok lekor ada dua orang gigit, makanlah korang sampai bertemu hidung sampai bercium pun. haih macam-macam ragam, rindu.

AB House, 2012

ingat tak Geng Bakar? Aisyah yang kasi nama ni kat dorang. tak faham asal Bakar tapi i rasa ada kena mengena dengan Burn Book, atau Aisyah salu burn dengan dorang sampai gaduh-gaduh. dulu WEC ngan Bakar macam sorang satu dah cop sesape kan. yek geli. i je takde, sebbaik i loser, eh, low profile sikit hahhaa. Nevermind mana? friendzoned. hahaha. mesti ada Nevermind nak kat WEC tapi WEC nak kat Bakar. last-last i yang dengar masalah cinta monyet korang. yek geli baru sekolah rendah dah ada cinta monyet. tah pape kita dulu. tapi i suka dapat merasa jadi nakal time tu (Y)

HAHHAHAHA OK I'M LAUGHING READING SOMETHING YOU WROTE IN BUKU BIRU, SOMETHING ABOUT YOU LOOKING AT ME AS A THREAT AS I WAS (YOUR WORDS) "KIND OF CLOSE TO THE KING OF SWEAT". KING. OF. SWEAT. ASDFGHJK EWWW MAI!

i was just being a middle person and matchmaker and King of Sweat was one of many who sought help from me. that's how i became close with boys because i had pretty friends and those boys were just being the perverts they were, coming to me asking for pictures and numbers and everything.

King of Sweat liked three of WEC girls and every time he felt that way, he texted me and talked about his feelings and all. gross. first he asked for Nad's picture. i happened to have one of Nad and you, so i koyak gambar tu and gave the one yang ada muka Nad to him. then he liked you, and asked for your picture. so i just gave him the one yang ada muka you pulak. kalau dia letak gambar korang sebelah-sebelah mesti dia macam "eh pahal cam gambar sama je ni," hahahaa. gross.

[kepada lelaki-lelaki yang mula rasa teruja, sila ambil perhatian: aku tak buat dah kerja camni ok. sila usaha sendiri. aku boleh bantu tapi haruslah mengikut syarak dan syarat yang telah ditetapkan]

you were trying to be a tomboy Mai.. don't deny it. i ngan Aisyah dulu selalu tak puas hati sebab masa darjah 6 you tetiba nak jadi tomboy, mentang-mentang kelas dengan Nevermind pastu rapat semua. alah Aisyah jeles je tu you dulu rapat dengan tutt. i tak puas hati pun i taktau kenapa, tah pape entah. lainlah 5 tahun kemudiannya, eh shhh rahsia.

SMKLK, AB FAMILY

i think is when we were the closest. even in WEC we were not as close as we were as AB Family.

we were both way different than we were in SKLK. after three years of being not as close, we were fated to be in a class together for two years. we both saw how we'd changed, but with you everything was still the same. bukan senang nak rapat balik after 3 years of menjauhkan diri, Mai. i was and am really still thankful that we could be best friends again, even more than before.

this time we talked about changing for the better and having a blessed future, but we still talked about the past every now and then cos even though how far we were from it, as in in time and in personality, we would never not miss SKLK and WEC.

i saw you changed before my eyes Mai, and i could not be prouder of you. i know regardless of what you wore and did before, you were always a good muslimah, even better than some who cover their aurat and control their ikhtilat. now look, you end up being the best among many of us.

you are the best example of what i always say - different people have different level to compensate. everyone has good and bad sides, maybe now we only see the bad one. but in the end, as puzzles will fall into place, their good deeds will form someone who only has a good side, finally visible to our eyes. people don't change drastically, you didn't either, but only now it's there for people to see. before this, only Allah knew. now, we all do :)

i don't know about me but i am sure in these 14 years of knowing you, we've seen each other grew up and mature. ain't that sweet?

masa ni takde dah jadi Mean Girls looking for attention, takde dah King of Sweat, koyak gambar pas kat lelaki segala. kawan dengan laki pun tak sangat sebenarnya. oh hi Luqman, you were the only exception~


ingat tak masa you nak pulangkan diari yang tercicir tapi you malu pastu i ngan Diena tolak-tolak you and intai you kasi diari kat orang tu, pastu kitorang gelak cam budak gedik hahahha. tapi time tu memang kelakar. ingat tak i kata kalau tetiba mata bertentang mata dengan tak sengaja tu maksudnya hati dah melekat macam magnet? kes you lah tu. nasib baik dua-dua menundukkan pandangan. pandangan pertama bertentang tu takpe hahaha.

i ingat lagi Mai apa kita bisik-bisik time ni, Hari Guru 2011 <3

last year you were the first person whom i told a secret to. well, after Diena who had always known and proudly repeated "told cha! i knew it!" Diena knew what she thought she knew, while i told everything to you ;) hehe hi Diena! whylaaa you keep popping up on my posts?

when i told you that, you had tears in your eyes. terharu ke apa i pun taktau. but when i had other kind of tears in my eyes, you were there with me in the library, remember? you should know tears love hugs, therefore if one is trying to control their tears, do not hug them. you didn't know it apparently, so you hugged me.

we shared everything Mai. we shared secrets, tears, laughter, time. all those days of stayback kat sekolah, balik lambat, hoping to do revision but it always turned out to be chatting session. i didn't regret anything at all, for the wasted time was spent with you :')

ingat tak sama-sama tido kat kelas petang-petang? siap ambik turn kadang-kadang you tido dulu, i buat kerja. you bangun, i tido pulak. we were each other's alarm clock :'D

i rindu you Mai, serious. i rindu you, Diena, Aiju, semua orang. rindu nak cerita macam-macam dengan korang, rindu nak update episode terbaru dalam drama hidup masing-masing. rindu nak kongsi walau cerita remeh yang tah pape je. rindu nak pandang you dengan pandangan bermakna dan cakap "mai, buat keje sebelah i jap," atau "mai, teman gi toilet jap" yang dua-dua biasanya bermaksud ada cerita yang harus disampaikan segera. atau dah malas nak cakap in secret code, terus "mai, gi belakang jap ada benda nak cakap" pastu mulalah bercerita sambil betulkan tudung kat cermin belakang yang i semangat beli tu. rindu nak buat inside jokes pastu orang lain cam Nad, Nas ngan Farah cakap "apa korang ni?" pelik tengok kita dua. rindu semua.

Last day of school, 11.11.11

dua-dua mata sepet akibat menangis :')

"Secrets we had, mean everything to me. when we share secrets with a person, it means we totally trust the person. and I trust you. hope you didn't betray my trust. even if you do, it's okay. because Amalina is my best pal." - Mai, The Biru Book.

that secret you told me this year... it was asdfghjkl. you asked me to pray for you masa i kat Mekah Mai, and i did. i prayed for everybody but i mentioned your name and what it was about. Alhamdulillah if He's answered my prayers. i've gotta say i didn't think it would be that quick... but better now than later right?


as you said, "lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik". i know the two of us can't wait for it (I CAN WAIT LONGER FOR SURE, BUT YOU.... HAHA), but good things come to those who wait. so don't settle for less than you deserve just because you want it to happen now. it will happen, at the right time, with the right person. ok sayang?

dalam Video AB Grad With Love tu, i tried to match the lyrics to the pictures and you people. so bukan sekadar lagu ye jadi background video tu, tapi lirik yang bermakna :')

Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone,

But in my mind,
I know they will still live on and on,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?

this reminded me of you straight away Mai. yes, our journey started from crayons, to perfume, and more.

we were friends from when we were four when we talked about balls, to SKLK phase when we learnt about the world, we were curious kids wanting to try everything but acted in ways as if we were already teenagers, we talked about boys and those copycat junior girls, to SMKLK phase when we were wondering about our future, dreaming about being a mom, fantasizing a wedding with our friends as bridesmaids, to now, when we already know something about our future and still trying to be someone better, to the next phase when we'll be discussing about marriage life, mom-to-mom tips on how to handle our kids, and before we know it, we'll be old and grey sitting on rocking chair talking on the telephone about old age sclerosis.

a lifetime friendship.

Insyaallah Mai, we'll get there and beyond.

till then, best friend.

I love you.