Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind

if you have a chance to erase your memory, would you do it?

we all have things we want to forget, information we never need to know, people we wish we had not met. if deleting all that from your brain compartments is possible, would you do it?

“There’s an emotional core to each of our memories, and when you eradicate that core it starts its degradation process.”

i really, really, really love the movie Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. it's not real romance, it's a balance between smart and sentiments. it's both funny and sad. it's different and brilliant. it's like 500 Days of Summer of the early 2000s, but i guess more emotions, hence deeper? put the plot twist (it's not actually the first time they met, but the second time omg), Rose Dawson going all eccentric post-Titanic (her hair actually serves a purpose - as the timeline of the story), and Mark Ruffalo (nuff said) aside, the theme alone is enough to keep one thinking, even after the credit rolls. one of the best movies of all time for all those reasons and more :)

you want to forget some things but what it really means is removing some parts of your life.

will it be better to be a new person without such experience? you will be less wise.

Jim Carrey at his best

(i had a crush on him when i was a kid but i stopped crushin when he got more ridiculous than ever

but this is just perf woah im crushin again)

it's so sad, when one by one, Joel's memories of Clementine turned into a black setting, when she disappeared from his mental canvas, and reappeared again, and everything went black again, and it went on and on. it's so sad, when Joel was reminded of why he loved her on the first place when they're over the honeymoon phase and reality took place. it's so sad, when Joel had to run from one memory to another, smuggling Clementine to his deepest memories where she didn't belong, just to save the last bit of Clementine he had left. it's so sad, when there's nothing Joel could do to keep the memory he wanted to erase, the fragment of his own imagination holding his own hand, the Clementine in his mind.

in the end it's always that way: people hold on to what they want to forget.

"When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too."

"You're pretty."

"Joely, don't ever leave me."

this scene this

and that's where they met for the second time, thinking it was the first time

i'm skeptical about people who just met and just like that, fall in love. you click with one person, it's one thing, but you fall for them, is totally another. i'm skeptical about people claiming they fall in love at the first sight. you love what you see is one thing, but you love them, is totally another. you need to really know them personally first. you need to be friends first. only then we'll talk about love. 

(look at those dimples and smile and teeth and eyes look)

so at first i was like whaaat, how could these two strangers share the chemistry so easily? especially Joel, who is sort of a silent, shy, secretive guy, how could he just go along with this weirdo, devil-may-care, blue-haired woman? they have nothing in common! little did i know, they were lovers before.

erasing memories is deleting who we are, not them. but us. 

and erased memories, deleted identity, removed parts, will still be there. what you think you feel for the first time, you've felt before. who you think you meet for the first time, you've met before. you don't know it, but somewhere inside your damaged brain is a force that keeps you drawn towards it. maybe, that sudden impulse to go somewhere, that unconscious urge to say hello, that instant connection as though you've known each other long ago, come from the undamaged part - the heart. even when your brain can't sense it, your heart, oh the heart, it always does.

you can't hide from yourself forever.

if you need someone new to forget the old one, it isn't really forgetting is it?

you meet a nice guy. you say hi. from there it all happens so quickly in just one day it doesn't make sense. is this girl that easy? is this guy that lonely? then you receive a recording of yourself talking about the guy in a hateful way. but that can't be, you just met him! and he seems so nice, so unlike what you describe him to be. and the guy, gets to listen to how he talks similarly about you too. but you've only known each other for one day... everything was going so good up to this point. now you know, it did not work the first time, so what's the point of waiting for the same thing to happen twice? or maybe you should just give it a try... knowing how it might end. or would you just walk away?

serious shit huh.

as he did.

but it did not matter.

Shipping Jim/Kate for the first time

the second time they met, they said the same thing like the first time they did. proof some things never change.

she didn't even know she was in love, because she forgot

"How'd I look?"

"You looked happy. Happy with a secret."

a secret she wasn't aware of.

what if what you want to forget, is a part of your life since way back when? a small part, but a part still. a small part getting bigger and bigger. if you delete that particular part, would you live your life as it is? or would you feel like there is something missing? when you recall back your memory of the first day of school, when you stare at the pictures of years after wondering who the hell is that? if that person is everywhere, anytime, how would you remove them without being reminded of them every time you look at anything at all? if you were to erase the memory of said somebody, you would have to erase your life completely.

i can't

but that would take you back to the six-year-old you.

because everyone could use some memory erasing service sometimes.

"My name is... and i'm here to erase..."