One Of Those Days

if only you're still here.
you'll see how much things have changed.
what a disgrace.
i'm ashamed of them.
what you gave, goes to waste.

if only you're still here,
everything must have been just the same.

if only you're still here.
so many questions i'd want to ask, experiences to hear, opinions to ponder.
so many life lessons you'd teach, so many proofs of love you'd give.

if only you're still here.
maybe everything would be better.

but you're not here.
you left them with memories, you left me with fantasies.
you left us with smiles and tears.
you left us and brought along everything you had built for years.

you didn't see me grow up.
you didn't wave me off on my first day of school
nor welcome me with warmth on my last.
time flew so fast.
but i'll suck it up.
you weren't there to be proud of what i've achieved.
you weren't there to reward me with all the gifts.
you weren't there to be disappointed when i didn't act as expected.
you weren't there to punish me when i messed things up.
but i'll suck it up.
you weren't there to guide me along my journey.
you wouldn't be there to be my wali.
but i'll suck it up.

you're not here,
and it's okay.
don't you worry about me,
this is just one of those days.
don't you worry,
because long ago, i've grown up.




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along said

"uda tu ikut babah, pemurah. ateh berani, macam babah. angah, sabar. ayu tu kepala otak study last minute dia macam babah."


no. i want to be like babah in every way.
they just don't see it yet, and i don't have to show it either.
i know i am like him, i can be like him and i will try to be.