Luqman :)

Luqman, you wrote me  a farewell poem. so i blog a farewell post. Good luck at Uniten! before that, read this crap.

when you said you wanna gimme something and i refused but you said it's not physical, i knew you would do something like this. this is better than anything :)

Before we were friends, all i could remember are our disagreements. you hated Glee, i justified it. you hated Harry and Hermione's kissing scene, i justified it (now that i think about it it was obscene but i watched it in NZ ya no, it didn't feel wrong.... slap me). once you even asked whether i liked someone on his wall. on FB! in public! gila ke kau ni. now we're friends, i might as well answer it. yes i did like him. if you don't remember who it was, kindly keep forgetting, tq.

the moment i started paying attention to your existence was when i heard you had a plan up your sleeve. of course you weren't serious (please tell me you weren't), but it's my responsibility to be the voice of reason right? i didn't want to be the guilty classmate who 'heard about it but did nothing until it was too late'. since then, you're no longer just a classmate. you're a friend.

who would have thought how my initial intention of helping you even when you didn't ask for any help got me a friend who helps me instead? a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Your concern makes me feel like "ahhh aku ok kenapa orang cakap aku tak okkk." but hey, at least someone cares and asks me what's wrong instead of liking my status and ignoring my subconscious cry for help right? lolol. 

and you, mister, always ask me "make up eh harini?" DUDE COMPACT POWDER AND LIB BALM AREN'T MAKE UP. THEY ARE BASIC NEEDS FOR PLAIN GIRLS LIKE ME. AKU TAK PAKAI LIPSTICK BAGAI PUN ORANG CAKAP AKU MEKAP, APAKAH. but it's alright, i understand you tend to compare other girls with She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

God is Just. Trust Him, and trust me when i say insyaallah, He's reserving better things for you. you've just gotta turn to him always, and have faith. I believe Allah is just testing us, giving us a challenge so we can win the award, be rewarded  with a better life letter. life's tough, but we're tougher right? the tougher the test, the better the prize. i know you're not much of a man with patience as his virtue (like you always say) but think of what you've been doing this whole time? being patient isn't it? so just keep on being patient, but with a positive attitude. and i know you're not a fan of this kind of talk, but i just have to. you know me.

I'm glad You-Know-Who came into your life and turned things around. you were so different back then! and you had a good enough reason. even some of my friends are surprised when i say we're friends now, that you're a good friend, even a better friend than some.

trust me, you're a good guy. another "i'm useless" and i'll kill you. like someone once said to me, you're a good guy whom bad things happen to.

Siapa yang kasi kata semangat bila kawan dia down? siapa yang message tanya ok tak bila kawan dia tak datang sekolah padahal kawan dia memang kaki ponteng? siapa yang FB message tanya are you alright bila kawan dia update status emo? siapa yang tau kawan dia jiwa kacau bila tengok tumblr tragik belaka? siapa yang sanggup dengar keluh kesah kak esah kawan dia? siapa yang buat kawan dia rasa berharga bila kawan dia rasa shit? siapa yang risau pasal kawan dia sampai jadi mengundang kadang2? kau jugak. muahahah.

all those late nights of sending and replying fb messages about each other's updates on each other's life crisis LOL, where i poured my heart out kesian kau kena layan aku, those days of telling each other what happened at school, i will never forget those Luqman. kau laki pertama yang aku cepat rapat. by rapat bukannya rapat mengada as in texting and whatever, tapi rapat yang boleh kongsi rahsia, rapat yang betul-betul sebab kawan. i like it. i have a guy friend i can trust, what i've always wanted since forever. what i sometimes did get, but it turned out bad. it was a time when i couldn't trust men because of many reasons (not lovey dovey stupid reasons la tapi), but suddenly, there you were.

i know we've only been friends for like a year. i know we're not gonna talk like we did in school days. but i'll never forget the one year when we were friends. i'll never forget the guy who cried when Diena and i went to watch the final Harry Potter movie with him and he asked us to do him a favour because he's trembling and shy - a favour involving someone in green shirt. i'll never forget the guy who stared out of the window dreamily, smiling to himself and made up lame excuses as if we didn't know who's in his mind. the guy who i always ask frustratingly "what are you mumbling cakapla kuat sikit!" the one guy i didn't think i would be friends with, how we listen to each other, how he helps me with my dramas and how i'm excited listening to his soap operas.

don't forget me Luqman, i used to be the supporter, the listener, the friend who's always genuinely happy for you, who hoped you get what you want in life, especially THAT ONE, and who you've promised a VIP seat if her wish for you comes true. i was and will always be if time, place and chance allow me.

thanks for always being there, for listening, trusting me, telling me, i appreciate you letting me in. thanks for always knowing the right thing to say, and for always reminding me "you deserve to be happy, you deserve better." thank you.

this short while of knowing you is enough to make me say thank you for being a good friend and for all the things you do, i will remember you.