FELDA Global Group Scholarship Second Stage Interview

Last week i received an email.

TAHNIAH! Anda telah disenarai pendek untuk menghadiri temuduga Biasiswa Kumpulan Felda Global 2012 bersama Pengurusan Kanan Felda Global.

i was genuinely surprised. i did not think i would get a call back (wah ingat nak masuk Broadway ke call back call back pengaruh Glee la ni) because as i've already mentioned in my post about first stage interview, group interview session i did not think i stood out (or maybe we all didn't, hence me being picked, making me think of the fate of my MARA interview since my group mates were all like gempak gila and i might have not given a good enough impression), and my assessments were craps. 

and then i was like.... Pengurusan Kanan?! memang saje bikin gua cuak nak bold segala kan.

so after i thought i was done with interviews and just cilek sampai masuk asasi nanti, i had to study... which i did a day before. but still, effort tu weh google pasal Felda being listed in Bursa Saham and Lynas, buat draft jawapan sendiri dan tengok balik draft FAQ interviews and about biotech. aku tido pukul 5 pagi pastu aku bersumpah kalau dorang tak tanya pasal ni memang nak kena ah.... dan memang dorang tak tanya pun. but kids, more on that later (HIMYM REFERENCE YO!)

so today, not even half-prepared, i went with a hope that those interviewers would make my life easy.

but before that....

an awkward moment when i had a homesick moment before i went to the interview..... and to think i'm not even leaving home yet... not a good sign.

makanan disediakan, macam biasa. tapi dah makan kat rumah tadi. pastu takde geng nak makan lagi :"(

masa daftar, i saw 11 names. namaku ke-7. 7.... could it be my lucky number again?

i was the fourth one to come after 2 malay girls and one indian girl, after me an indian guy arrived. that was just it, the five of us. i don't know where other 6 interviewees were. probably they've got something better, or lost interest or had some location and transport issues since the shortlisted interviewees were from every ceruk of Malaysia.

this time, even at the second stage of interview, we still had to do those dem hard verbal and numerical assessments, again. the average time per question is 1.5 min. like the first stage, english was bearable but math was.... dehek. not even math, but more to statistics and logic. sadly, my logic hasn't been in shape lately.

i was told by a lady who appeared to be my first stage interviewer (patutlah muka familiar, i was only sure after she asked me whether she met me in Terengganu or KL? OMEGE SHE REMEMBERS MEEE) that OUT OF 300 INTERVIEWERS (OUT OF 5000 ONLINE APPLICANTS) IN THE FIRST STAGE, ONLY 45 MADE IT TO THE SECOND STAGE, AND THEY WILL ONLY PICK 8 PEOPLE. 8 PEOPLE ME TELL YAH. 6 were absent today and 5 yesterday, so that makes my probability of getting the scholarhsip - 1/34.

not... bad.... because if it all depends on me and my math assessment, it'd be like 1/0 lololol k.

OH AND WHEN THAT LADY was giving the pep talk ("you should sell yourself the whole 20 minutes you're in that room! you've already passed the first stage and it's not easy i tell you, now you just have to walk in and impress them" - which i did not do, i think, but kids, we'll get back to that later), i asked her is there any chance of changing my course?

i've already planned this after i found out i was called for the second interview and i knew Aiman Azlan did it too (from biotech to psy AND bio). i can still contribute to Felda's biotech RnD with my bio knowledge and being a psy graduate, i can fill in a position in management, HR department or something like that. betoi tak?

she said no, they need some experts in the courses they offer, they don't offer the fields they don't need... ok T____T. but all the officers/workers were really nice, semua good luck semua orang :')

after one gets the scholarship, they will go to KYUEM and do A-level. Felda is more lenient than other scholarship providers which mostly ask for 3 A's minimum, kalau tak dorang takkan hantar fly, cos Felda only asks for 2 A's and 1 B. only then one can get accepted into top unis in UK. droooools.

while waiting i 'made friends' with that indian dude. he was like very friendly and all smiley.... he asked to take a look at my certificates file. i was like "only if you show me yours" lol wut ama. then we talked about what we did and who we were in school (more like figured it out by ourselves just by looking at the certs), how our school was like, our study plan (he had this idea that matriks is a better choice than asasi, which is why he's going to matriks, memangla matriks pun bagus but knowing his reasons, you had the wrong impression man), then he was like "i think i saw you during the first interview," since both of us are from kl, hence the location at Zon Hotel but i was like "rly? i dun think so, mine was on the first day", and how he's the first vegetarian i ever met and stuffs.

about the 50 ringgit note.... we'll get back to that lat- ENOUGH LATER OREDI

when the door was held open for me i forgot every tips i read (TO KNOCK OR NOT TO KNOCK  TO WAIT FOR THE "PLEASE COME IN" OR NOT BUT THE DOOR'S ALREADY OPENED AH MASUK JELAH) and i greeted them with salam as all 6 of them were muslim men.

peliknyaaa... dorang cakap dalam bahasa melayu. mula-mula aku pun cakap dalam bahasa melayu BUT DEEP INSIDE I WAS LIKE WHY BM SHOULD I GO ALONG WITH IT KANG NAK SPEAKING TETIBA MACAM TAK RESPECT PULAK TAPI TAH TAH DORANG NAK TEST AKU Y Y Y I AM SO IN DILEMMA tapi beberapa minit kemudian aku start speaking... dorang still cakap bm... kadang-kadang aku selit bm.... dorang pun mula selit english.... dorang start speaking.... tapi bm masih bahasa pengantar.... siap ada loghat kedah lagi.

peliknyaaa... tak macam interview langsung aku pun macam HAS THE INTERVIEW STARTED WHY ARE THEY ASKING UNRELATED QUESTIONS WHY ARE THEY MAKING JOKES WHY ARE THEY LAUGHING WHY AM I LAUGHING TOO IS THIS THE INTERVIEW OR WUT.

ok lemme start from the start. apa yang aku ingat -

(dia is all the interviewers, mereka semua berebut nak bercakap sampai aku tak sempat jawab padahal tadi dah kena pep talk suruh cakap banyak awww)

all of them (or almost) had a folder of copies of my documents, results, certs and resume.

Family

dia : apa pangkat ayah?

aku : leftenan colonel (nak cakap tak pasal babah was the founder of a regime and everything and he was the first person to be given a pangkat/pingat ape entah his story was in a military museum-)

dia : tentera darat ke laut?

aku : tentera darat.

dia : betul darat? bukan laut?

*gelak kedai kopi*

aku : ..... ya (?)

dia : dia meninggal dalam perang ke macam mana ni

aku : (SIR MANA ADE PERANG DAH ZAMAN DIA BUT HE INDEED KILLED 13 COMMUNISTS MORE OR LESS THEY WERE HIDING IN THE WOODS AND -)

dia : eh tak, tak, natural cause.

aku : he actually became a businessman afterwards -

dia : oh dia dah pencen and then became a businessman?

aku : (taktau dah pencen ke tarik diri ke berhenti ke....) yeaaa lepas pencen.

dia : bisnes apa tu?

aku : (i know something about security and belakang meja office babah banyak model airplanes sebab babah jual beli aeroplane jugak er) it involved something about security, and also airplanes, to be honest i am not so sure -

dia : oh airplane? jadi dia jet fighter? kata tentera darat tadiiii

aku : no he was not a jet fighter, he was involved in the business of selling airplanes.... (I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I RAMBLED HERE)

Boys

dia : ada boyfriend tak?

aku : tak.

dia : eh takkanlah takde boyfriend

*gelak kedai kopi*

aku : haha really, i don't have any.

dia : guy friend ada?

aku : yes, i do have a couple of guy friends -

dia : eh bukan sama ke guy friend dengan boyfriend?

dia : lainlahhh!

dia : guy friend is like you want to talk to them, but boyfriend is like you want to see them, right?

dia : so a couple of guy friends, no boyfriend. hmmm. gay friend ada?

aku : not that i know of

*gelak kedai kopi - OMG THEY LAUGHED AT MY JOKE :'D*

Bros 

dia : tell me about your siblings.

aku :  i have 5 siblings, i am the last in the family.

dia : waaa, manja la ni?

aku : sort of -

*gelak kedai kopi*

dia : so you have sisters, brothers?

aku : actually, all 4 brothers.

dia : ah memang manja la niiii!

dia : manja habis ni!

dia : patutlah takde boyfriend nanti abang-abang semua interrogate boyfriend!

dia : mesti selalu kena buli kan?

aku : ye biasalah tu.

*gelak kedai kopi lagi*

School

dia : you duduk mana?

aku : just in KL, Lembah Keramat

dia : oh this Keramat, i see i see. school?

aku : a daily school, also in Lembah Keramat - SMK Lembah Keramat

dia : a daily school, 10 A's... so you must be the top student then?

aku : .... yes i was.

dia : so, how did you become the best student? what did you do?

aku : to me, it's all about different people having different ways of studying. so we don't have to follow others, we just have to know what suits us and what's right for us.

dia : so, what's right for you?

aku : people need convincing when i tell them how i study, because it's not conventional. i... study at the last minute and late at night, because i work best under pressure.

dia : work best under pressure eh? mestilahhh, ayah dia askar!

dia : ni kalau belajar masa perang pun takde hal niii!

*gelak kedai kopi*

dia : you tak pernah masuk asrama ke apa ke?

aku : pernah, when i was in form 1 but i decided to leave at the end of the year, after 7 months.

dia : kenapa?

aku : ada sebab peribadi yang tak dapat dielakkanla.

dia : sebab peribadi apa? troubles to adapt?

aku : er... not exactly. sebab peribadila.

dia : sebab peribadilah mana boleh cerita!

dia : yelah i tanyalah sebab pelik jugak keluar dah lepas 7 bulan kan?

dia : then after that you masuk sekolah tu lah? stay from form 1 sampai form 5?

aku : ya (bangga dan terharu tskkkk)

dia : what did you do at school, in term of co curricular participations?

aku : for one, i had been a member of Girl Guides since i was in standard four. so i participated in marching competitions for years - throughout my primary school and a few years during high school.

dia : ok, sebab dah lama dalam Pandu Puteri, buat ape lagi?

aku : like i've said, i joined marching team. i also participated in community service, it was a cleaning programme (GOTONG ROYONG LOL OH MY ENGLISH!) at a mosque -

dia : oh, masjid dekat Lembah Keramat?

aku : tak, dekat Ulu Kelang.

dia : oh, masjid Al-Ridhuan!

aku : ye.

dia : dah bersih ke masjid tu?

dia : takpe, ada masjid dekat belakang ni lagi kalau nak tolong bersihkan.

*gelak gelak kedai kopi*

dia : so what role did you play in Pandu Puteri? bukan ada rank ke, kakak, queen or something?

aku : i was the vice president when i was in -

dia : oh senanglah keje jadi vice president sebab president dah ade betul tak?

dia : the president does all the work already, so you tak payah buat pape lah.

aku : well, it depends on the type of president actually.

*GELAK KEDAI KOPI BESAR KAT SINI AND THEY EXCHANGED SOME INSIDE JOKES ("kalau president tak buat kerja, habislah orang bawahan dia hahaha") AND IF YOU CARE ABOUT THE LATEST ISSUES, YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING BOUT. I THINK I DO*

Studies

dia : so did you apply for other scholarships?

aku : yes, i did but i was rejected by all except for Felda and MARA.

dia : so how did that go?

aku : as for MARA, i did go to the interview and now i'm waiting for the result -

dia : which will be announced when?

aku : 1 June.

*gelak kedai kopi which for the first time i didn't understand why*

dia : 1 June tu bukan nama orang ke?

dia : hahah 1 June, 1 June!

aku : (is there a chinese named Wan Jun or wut?)

dia : you're the second person you know, who said 1 June.

aku : (tersedar kesilapan oh my english! lagi) oh hahahah, 1st of June, i'm sorry.

dia : yelaa, 1st of June la. Wan Jun tu nama orang bukan tarikh.

*gelak kedai kopi lagi*

aku : (T______T jangan jadi bengap sangat lain kali boleh tak?)

dia : how about university?

aku : i got Asasi Sains UiTM, which i will be going on 3rd of Jun.

dia : sains hayat?

aku : tak, sains je, it's not really specific. the subjects are biology, physics, chemistry -

dia : what was your favourite subject in school?

aku : i would say biology, because i'm just interested in the science of life, to learn about human bodies and living things -

dia : but you got A in SPM, isn't it?

aku : yeah, sadly it was my first time not getting an A+ for biology.

*sobs*

dia : what did you apply for MARA?

aku : i applied for psychology, A-level at INTEC for UK/US.

dia : oh, psychology eh?

aku : yes, because i'm passionate about psychology.

dia : but for Felda you applied for biotech?

aku : because i'm interested in biology. i'm more to pure bio, the knowledge of pure science. biotech involves bio -

dia : biotech involves all sciences.
dia : psychology pun ada biology, so you might as wee do what you're passionate about.

dia : medicine pun ada bio, but you're not passionate about it right?

dia : yes, you can do medicine if you want to, tapi you taknak kan.

dia : result macam ni nak belajar apa pun boleh!

dia : nak buat kapal terbang pun boleh!

*gelak kedai kopi*

Career Counselling 

dia : who's your idol in psychology?

aku : (dem aku tak pernah ambik tau tapi aku idolize penulis so...) i don't have any idol in psychology, but i adore some writers because i also love writing.

dia : rly? have you ever written articles, stories or anything?

aku : (i write stories all the time in my head and i blog too..) well i entered essay writing competitions and even won one. i got the first place when i was in form 4, it was at district level.

dia : waaa, macam-macamla you ni kan.

dia : it's good then, be a writer!

aku : i intend to, but it will only be my second profession, so i'm not thinking about it for now.

dia: one thing about you la, you tak fokus. you nak semua.

dia : dia bukan nak semua laa, dia tau apa dia nak. she wants to taste a lil bit of everything.

aku : i want to study both sciences and humanities, that's why. i don't want to just do everything science like most people do.

dia : that's good, you can get that from US education system.

aku : yes, i love the system.

dia : you belajar dekat US nanti jadilah apa you nak pun, psychologist, writer, semua boleh.

dia : bila fikir pasal kerja kadang-kadang orang fikir pasal duit. so if you want to make good money, take medicine. tapi you tak minat.

dia : writers are rich too. you tau tak satu writer ni, *name i donno*? dia femes tau sekarang. he's new but he's good. ada tiga buku dah. mula-mula yang femes kan JK Rowling (MY IDOL!), and then *names names names*, now dia pulaklaa. jadi je penulis.

dia : psychologists make money too whaaat?

dia : yes sebab tak ramai psychologist kat Malaysia ni.

aku : that's what i'm concerned about. psychology in Malaysia is not well-developed yet..

dia : it will nanti, you study je dulu.

aku : my last hope to study psychology is to get Mara.

dia : ni mara boleh dapat ni, mesti boleh ni.

aku : ( :"D tskkk)

dia : if you want to do psychology, do psychology.

aku : but i'm still interested in biology, and biotech -

dia : but you have to do what you're passionate about!

dia : eh bukan passionate dengan interested sama ke?

dia : lainlah, mana sama. macam boyfriend - guy friend tadi lah.

dia : you punya word term ni ish, lainlah. passionate tu macam betul-betul love.

dia : so you have to do what you love

aku : yes, i want to. but since my original plan did not work out, so i must think of a back up plan.

dia : apa original plan tu?

aku : well, my first choice for UPU was human science, UIA because i want to do Bachelor in Psychology later. but i was rejected sebab diorang hanya ambik budak sastera je untuk asasi tu -

dia : of course, you dah overqualified already!

*gelak kedai kopi*

aku : so i got my 2nd choice, asasi sains UiTM.

dia : what is your plan then from there?

aku : since i am not able to study psy, i might do Bachelor in Biology or Physiology, i'll see how it goes from there.

dia : you know what, i think macam ni la. you pergi jumpa dekan UIA personally, mesti dia bagi masuk punya. takkan rejectlah. macam i cakap tadi, buat kapal terbang pun boleh.

aku : but i'm afraid it might be too late since i'm registering for asasi in two weeks -

dia : it's never too late. sebab kita taknak nanti you menyesal. half way study you'll regret it, or dah kerja berapa tahun nanti you'll wonder what if you did study psychology.

aku : but... i don't know, because the first time i tell people i wanted to do psy, it was not easy to convince them. they tell me to choose something else, but i still insisted on studying psy. but now since i didn't get my first choice, i'm starting to think maybe it's not the right thing for me. you know how something we love might not be good for us? so i'm afraid that's the case. maybe psychology is not for me and i should study something else, i don't wanna make the wrong choice.

dia : eh mana boleh macam tu. mana boleh dengar apa orang kata. buat je apa you suka.

dia : as long as it's not something wrong laaah.

dia : you want to study psychology because you want to be a psychologist right?

aku : actually i haven't figured that out yet. because to be a psychologist one must pursue postgrad studies. so maybe after degree i will work in human resource or something, before thinking of where to go next.

dia : macam ni jelah, you jumpa dean UIA, buat rayuan, masuk UIA. dekat je kat sini. takyah jauh-jauh. your family won't let you go away punyaaa

aku : actually, my mom always tells me to go where ever i want to (force me, to be exact). and it has always been my dream since i was a little girl to study overseas -

dia : tapi after degree you boleh lagi study overseas kan untuk master semua

aku : (taktau camne nak cakap aku takde plan untuk sambung master nanti, macam tak berwawasan lah pulak LOLOLOL)

Questions

aku : can i ask a question?

dia : sure you can.

aku : is there any possibility that i can change my field of study? you know from biotech to both bio and psychology?

dia : it's not possible, since we don't need workforce or professionals in that area. we need biotechnologists for our research centre in nilai. if you take biotech, you'll be majoring in genetic engineering for plants, to modify characteristics and all that... you know?
dia : itu lah, kalau you tak minat, takpe. nanti kang ada yang bercakap dengan pokok kang sebab nak jadi psychologist sangat
*gelak kedai kopi*

aku : does this discussion about whether i should study psychology or not affects your decision to choose me?

dia : no. when you come in here we don't only interview you, we counsel you along the way so you don't make the wrong choice and won't feel regret later.

aku : are there other people like me....?

dia : a few actually. we had two who would like to do dentistry, so we told them if you want to do dentistry, go out and do dentistry.

dia : and when you become a dentist give us a discount!

dia : dentists are rich you know. gigi macam you ni (me) takde la kena bayar banyak sangat -

dia : tapi gigi orang tua macam kitorang, memang kaya la dia!

*gelak kedai kopi*

dia : kitorang semua ni, dah taraf bapak2 dah untuk you -

dia : dah atuk-atuk dah pun.

dia : ya, so we try to help you as much as we can.

lepas tu, dah. sign of dismiss. the end.

aku dengan gelabahnya bangun cakap terima kasih banyak kali ("terima kasih, terima kasih. thanks, for the counsel mostly," *gelak kedai kopi*) sampai aku lupa nak cakap thanks for this opportunity and please consider me macam aku cakap masa MARA dulu lololol. taktaulah kalau sembang pasal psy tu merendahkan peluang untuk dapat Felda (daripada ambik aku yang tak berapa minat biotech, baik ambik budak yang betul-betul minat betul tak?) sebab kalau aku jadi dorang, memang aku nilai budak tu berdasarkan sedalam mana minat dia dalam bidang yang dia mintak.

tapi tak dapat pun takpe. dah jadi 1 of the 45 shortlisted candidates ni pun dah buat aku cukup bersyukur. taktau camne boleh sampai sini, mungkin rezeki, mungkin resume dan sijil banyak main peranan, mungkin untuk kasi pengalaman, atau mungkin untuk kasi pandangan. yes, i'm referring to the counselling session.

it was not like an interview, AT ALL. if anything, it was a conversation, a discussion, or at its best, a career counselling. it was also like kedai kopi, lots of laughter. kecoh betul. semua rilek je. and to think dorang ni ketua department masing-masing, bos besar, board of directors, memang tabik ah. rasa macam dengan kawan pun ada. i was smiling all the timeeeee.

what they said about psychology, buat mataku berair. i was at the edge of tears because i was at the edge of losing hope, or going with the flow. it's a fine line between accepting what you get and making efforts to change it, which might be the only obstacle between you and your real fate.

but.... more on that later.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE 50 RINGGIT NOTE?!

oh sorry, i forgot. kids, i knew that Felda interviewees were given RM 50 after the interview. but after my first interview, i didn't get it, nobody did, so i thought they didn't give the 50 ringgit token anymore... i was surprised and glad to be handed the note before i left today when i least expect it. my theory was those interviewees received the money after the first interview because before this, there was only ONE interview... but now there are two interviews, so the lucky ones who made it to the second stage got the token instead.

so kids, sometimes, what we want will come to us the moment we stop hoping.

*a yellow umbrella passes by*

padappapapapaaaapadadadadadapaaadadadadadadada~