On Mother's Day, We Watched Pensil.

tekan sini untuk Cerita Hari Ibu.

Kesian mak aku, dia duduk rumah macam hari biasa, takda yang istimewa. aku insist on cooking for her, tapi dia kata ma nak baring depan TV taknak dok dapur. apa pulak, aku yang nak masak. dia kata akhirnya dia kena jugak masuk dapur, sebab aku ni agak tak berguna kalau masak sorang-sorang.

aku tanya ma nak makan apa-apa tak? aku belanja. tapi dia taknak. aku paksa maa ambekla duit aku ni haa, hadiah Hari Ibu, dia taknak. dah macam-macam aku paksa untuk buat harini kurang boring seperti biasa, tapi ma aku taknak.

baguslah kalau mak aku memang bukan jenis orang yang selalu sentimental emotional macam aku, dia bukan orang yang ambek pot pasal benda remeh temeh. walaupun sekarang takda sapa datang untuk raikan dia, untuk bawak keluar makan jalan-jalan, beza gila dengan masa babah aku ada pastu babah bawak makan dekat kelab semua, dia takda sayu-sayu.

aku pulak yang sayu tengok dia. jadi kitorang memang habiskan harini macam biasa.

salah satu agenda ialah tengok cerita Pensil.

standing ovation untuk Badrul. aku ingat dia cacat betul sebab orang normal tak boleh berlakon cacat begitu convincing sekali. rupanya dia memang normal, a convert and a teacher lagi. and first time aku suke Mak Mah berlakon, sangat nenek idaman. cerita ni best, it gives us a different dish with local flavours, satisfying my appetite which cant take anymore typical stories of lame love and haunting spirits, stories so Malaysian. sayangnya orang kita tak pergi masuk panggung untuk tengok cerita macamni, diorang nak tengok cerita yang berwarna warni dan pelakonnya cun dan ganteng yang takde isi tersembunyi.

walaupun mak aku bukan jenis yang menangis mengenangkan nasib diri, tapi dia dan aku sama-sama menangis mengenangkan nasib Badrul. bila tengok si Badrul tu bejalan senget benget dengan cara kelam kabut ala-ala budak terlebih gula, aku gelak. bila dia bermanja dengan nenek dia, aku senyum. antara yang best time dia nangis dekat nenek dia, mengadu orang kampung kata dia pencuri. nenek dia kata sabar, kita ada Allah, doa, Allah tolong.

time tu aku rasa nasihat tu kena dekat aku, maka mengalirlah air mata lagi. kalau ada orang macam nenek tu dalam hidup aku, memang air mata cepat kering rasanya.

pasal dia kawan ngn Jalil Hamid tu memang comel. dua-dua macam gila. tapi sebenarnya diorang lain. Badrul tu physically challenged je tapi otak dia okay, dia ingat Allah, dia fikir, dia sayang mak dia yang bangang tu, dia jual barang, dia doa. tapi Jalil Hamid pulak fizikal sempurna tapi mentally challenged, terbayang-bayang kisah silam dia, tak dapat beza mana betul mana tidak sampaikan Badrul kena ingatkan dia pasal Allah. they really make a good pair.

masa ending dia, memang aku kecewa sebab kita ditinggalkan tertanya-tanya.

aku godek google, baru aku tau ni cerita betul, patutlah takda ending. mungkin Badrul sebenar masih ada, living and kicking, takkanlah kita nak tulis ending dia kan? mula-mula aku kata "alah ini kan cerita, kita tengok cerita nak tau awal dan akhir, kasilah penghabisan dia apa".

pastu aku tukar statement aku,

"rupanya ini real life story, hidup takda TAMAT atau SELESAI, jadi walaupun hidup Badrul amatlah sucks, mungkin happy ending dia jauh lagi, kita cuma kena wait and see, macam hidup kita sendiri."

The Best Mother Ever.

I've already posted many posts about my mother, some for her and some of her in between any related topics. still, i want to write something, just something, for i am an unbelievably my mama's daughter ;)

the history of Mother's day in my family, just like other supposedly celebrated days, the atmosphere is fading away. when my dad was here, on Mother's Day or mama's birthday or their anniversary or ordinary day even, he would buy flowers for my mom. huge, so huge you might think he gave her a bed of roses. he gave her jeweleries, too. or handbags.

mama never asks for anything. but babah always knew what she wants. mama just stole a quick glance at the new arrival at Habib, and babah would force her to go into the shop and pick what she desired. babah gave her cards, cards so carefully written with beautiful words i cried reading them. man mama was lucky to have had such husband, but she's not anymore.

my brothers were all in their Mother's Day mood when they were abroad. cards each year, with the music flowing when you open them, expensive. but when they are here, the cards are not annual anymore. sometimes they give it, sometimes they don't. maybe because they feel slightly embarrass to do so, after all they are boys and expressing deep emotions is much easier when you are kilometers apart.

i totally understand because i was like them too. when i was little, saying 'i love you' to mama was a really tough quest. we did cards, drew pictures, but as i remember it i have never passed those to her. my friends would take out their RM 2 to buy gifts at the bookshop, i bought them but was too coward and ended up keeping them for myself.

when i was in standard 3 maybe, i bought a pink pen with the sweet-smelling ink, and finally had the guts to give it to my mother but without any wish or so. i just shoved it i her palm and said "adek rasa hari ni Mother's day, nah hadiah untuk mama".

it is different now, though. now i have developed an annoying 'anak manja' habit. i say i love her everyday, i kiss her, i hug her, i stick with her as much as i can. i ask her to cuddle me like a baby, and she would say "dulu mama nak peluk taknak, malulah apalah sekarang mengada-ngada pulak". my mother is not like moms you see in tv, she is not the type who comes to her daughter and ask "what bothers you". so i have to come to her and show that i care about her. i will force her to listen to me. i will force her to tell me if she's not alright.

she's not a modern mom with great job and high salary and a PhD. she is my mom, the best and flawless still who taught me to read Al-Quran when i was 3, count numbers, read books even before i knew what kindergarten was, she is my first and the best teacher.

she has been there for me all the time. she knows about my hatred, school crush and sadness. she has seen the best and the worst of me. i have made her cry so many times. i was not a good daughter, i was terrible 6 years back. yeah, i did break my mother's heart repeatedly. i am not proud of it, but i do feel grateful for being such an ass at that such young age, for now i have regretted how awful i was and i try to redeem it.

i think that is why i am so manja now, because i've done big mistakes and i feel remorse. just how some big sinners are more saint once they repent than ordinary people. i have grown up, i pray 24/7 for her best. i want to be with her as long as i can. i tell her everything i feel about her, i want her to know how much i love her and how much i try to change, i want her to notice that.

i would take a bullet for her, but i know she is too quick and would shield me first.

Happy Mother's Day Mama, even a billion cloned mothers with desired characteristics cant even beat you in my list, in anyone's list even.

My Notes Are Yours.

so Kak Nurlin has wished me good luck for mid year exam, which i haven't done anything about it just yet. maybe you have read from one of my latest posts about me determining not to go online until after the exam is over. oh well, typical me.

i sit my butt in front of computer even a day before PMR, so what did ya expect.

as i have already moaned about, my choral speaking practices arent going to last before 17 May. i practically have like, one week after that to study. gosh i (not surprisingly) cant find the time to study, but i obviously am devoted to daily routines. you know, afternoon nap, newspapers, Friends, Scrubs and stuffs. shoot when will these end?

such uncontrollable laziness results in me sleeping at 1 or 2 am, finishing homeworks. which leads me to drink nescafe first thing in the morning, which causes me to be annoyingly hyperactive at school. and the cycle goes on and on.

i dont know whether it is THAT beneficial or not, but i just cant help doing notes everyday, on the subjects at school la. you might think "AMA NERD BUAT NOTE DOH". when actually i do enjoy scribbling Sejarah, Biology and Agama etc. i even make them as my top priority, regardless how many piles of homeworks i have.

i think it is like, sort of. . . wasting time, in the sense of 'wasting time for good things'. what the. because i sleep at 1.30 am doing notes, when actually the teachers arent asking for it and my classmates dont even give a crap about it. and i will end up getting frustrated knowing i have spent my days doing up to chapter 5 Biology when they are still stuck for months at Chapter 1, or even the fact that some of them do the notes extraordinarily in the simplest way, or they merely copying the notes in revision books.

still i write the notes by myself only based on the textbook and i read it line by line to underline the main points and the sub points and i make sure nothing is left out and i do it like the world ends tomorrow. and i do it perfectly. because whats the point in copying notes from revision books, meaning you have two copies of identical notes? whats the point of doing notes very shortly when you know you're not gonna read it because it is incomplete?

i think i have some obsession for doing notes, kot. it is the only less embarrassing reason. looking at my friends whose notebooks are clean and clear yet still dont flunk their exams make me feel some negative sensation in here.

but maybe that is what it is. i dont just dont want to fail, but i seriously dont want to get lower than A+, too. and doing notes are a bit relaxing then finishing homeworks, for some reasons.

what bothers me is how i have consumed countless hours working on the notes, yet some people only spend half an hour copying MY notes. i dont mind, seriously. because i know i will be blessed, haha. for anything good you do you will be rewarded right?

but it is a bit too much when i cant even find out or remember who borrows my books because my books are apparently some sort of public facilities now. i want to be nice, i like to be nice, but not all the time i want my buckets of sweat to be enjoyed by other people.

i remember how i thought i lost my Geography note book (with the notes fully completed) last year, only to be handed back a day before sitting for Geo trial paper. thanks, mate. cant believe some people dont even remember the fact that they keep my notes dearly, almost AT HOME.

even once i did presentation in the class, i was the one writing it on kertas mahjong, and to my surprise not one of my group mates can understand what i'm writing about. seriously people, how did you read books before this? did you read the whole textbook and the whole sentence? cant you make out whats most important and what is the least?

and you want to copy my notes, all the freaking time.

for the record i felt a little insulted at that time, hah hah. i ended up doing the presentation all by myself, the talking and explaining because nobody can comprehend my notes.

haish maybe i should stop whining so much. fine.

just one thing, i have a golden rule to anyone who wants my notes or exercises.
do pray for my success for every word you copy, thanks.

Bila sekolah kena Histeria

aku masuk MRSM berhajat untuk tengok orang histeria, tapi hampa. namun siapa sangka, dekat SMKLK, dah dua hari berturut-turut orang kena histeria.

itu namanya rezeki ada di mana-mana. aku tak dapat tengok dekat MRSM, mungkin aku dapat tengok dekat SMKLK. kalaulah konsep ni boleh diaplikasikan untuk dapat 10A+ SPM nanti.
ya, semalam dan harini ada kes histeria dekat SMKLK. kedua-duanya waktu petang. semalam 4, 2 pengsan, tadi 11 orang lebih kurang. siap ada pengunguman "Semua murid sesi pagi diminta pulang dengan segera". wah hebat.

cakaplah aku jakun, tapi memang betol pun. sayangnya aku takda ketika kejadian.

habis camne aku tau? pagi tadi dtg sekolah terus dengar pasal kes semalam. budak tu masuk kelas pas rehat ke apa tah, ternampakla member, terus histeria. berjangkit kat kawan-kawan dia. masa tu tengah hujan lebat, beberapa minit je pas aku balik choral speaking.
kes harini pulak, tadi tetiba Kembar call aku. jangan tanya kembar yang mana, sebab dia angkat fon cakap "Ama ni Kembar". lagipun memang aku panggil dorang Kembar walaupun nak address sorang je, tak pernah panggil nama.

katanya dia dengar dari dalam PS yang tertutup rapat tu. kuat gila, tapi taktau apa. time tu tengah azan Asar, jadi sempatlah dia mengshhh kan penghisteria tersebut. ada budak kena kat tangga pastu jatuh ke apa tah. pas cikgu suruh dorang balik tu, terus Kembar paksa Pak Cik Van bawak laju-laju, macamkan hantu tu boleh pulak nak ikut dorang balik rumah. kalau ye pun, hantu kan boleh terbang 100 Km/j, racingla camne pun malam nanti jumpa jugak.
eh, aku tengah sorang-sorang. dan ABC. tapi takpa, sekarang siang. lalala.


ingat lagi ada satu masa tu, tahun ni jugakla, dalam tiga minggu straight ada budak-budak pengsan time rehat. ada yang macam gila bukak tudung semua. tapi bukan histeriala.

tetiba benda ni terjadi. kenapa? teori aku mungkin sebab manusia kat sekolah tak reti buang pad dengan betul, atau sebab perangai makin lama makin memboyan.

kadang-kadang benda ni sebagai peringatan. kalau kat Serting dulu, akak-akak selalu cakap pasal ni. terutamanya bila perangai makin tak semegah. akak-akak cakap, tak guna baca Al-Mulk setiap malam, Al-Ma'thurat setiap Nazam, kalau sebok bermesra-mesra jantan betina. benteng kita jadi lemah, bila lemah, banyak syaitan boleh masuk.

kat asrama bolehlah akak-akak saiko budak-budak camtu, kat sini, sapa nak saiko? pengawas tegur pasal tak ikut peraturan pun dah melenting siap buat page Facebook Kami tak suka pengawas Smk Lembah Keramat 2010 :P. apatah lagi kalau ada orang tegur pasal sahsiah, haih budak SMKLK, bilalah kita nak maju kalau perangai macam hantu? kang bila dah histeria kang jangan bising, biarlah dorang nak menampakkan diri kat kau, kata sekampung.

Ustaz baca hadis kat depan pun tak reti nak tutup mulut, sabar je aku. aku dapat rasa makin lama aku makin lemah bab agama, so kalau dengar hadis bersihlah sikit hati kan? hidup pun berkat. tahukah anda kalau tak dengar hadis tiga hari hati kita jadi keras? kesian Ustaz, kalau aku dah lama aku baling mic. eh tapi, Ustaz target betul-betul, kang terkena saya kang naya.

bila doa pulak tak reti nak aminkan, sempat gelak-gelak, eh sumpah aku malu kot dekat non-muslim. benda basic macamtu kita dah tau sejak tiga tahun dah, tu pun tak guna otak.

haa bab bab laki pompuan tak payah masuk la kan, kalau kat Serting akak-akak kata sebab tula hantu datang, sebab iman tak kuat. kat sini budak berkapel mengalahkan cikgu yang dah berkahwin, memang takde benteng langsung ah. at least, suka jela diam-diam, kawal perasaan dan emosi, macam aku ni haaa. lalala.

entah, benda-benda ni aku belajar kat Serting. aku masih ingat, dan aku cuba kotakan ecehceh. cuma yang peliknya, pas aku kuar, kawan-kawan aku yang stay dalam tu makin lama semua makin faham-fahamlah, walaupun sentiasa disaiko oleh akak-akak PERPIM. aku kat sini nak saiko sesapa pun tak berani, kang tak pepasal ada page Kami Tak Suka Amalina pulak kang.

papepun, memang cool lah Histeria ni. bak mutiara kata aku, 'rumah berhantu tak best, tapi sekolah berhantu memang best'. cuma aku nak jadi saksi je, jangan kena kat aku sudah.

Kalau boleh Mandi dan Makan dalam satu masa

aku sekarang sibuk gila, harap maklum.

form 4 memang lagi teruk daripada form 3. malah hari biasa form 4 pun lagi teruk daripada hari PMR form 3. ditambah pulak sekarang ni latihan choral speaking amat memenatkan, pukul 4.30 baru balik rumah. memang harapan aku nak buat kerja sekolah dan belajar selagi malam tidak bermula. itu pun kalau mata tak surrender.

periksa lagi tiga minggu ni. waddefishla. seminggu sebelum periksa ada Hari Guru, dan pada Hari Guru aku terpaksa berchoral speaking, yang membawa maksud sehingga Hari Guru tu, jadual aku padat dengan aktiviti melantun suara lunak lagi merdu dan membuat muka comel oleh orang yang tak berapa nak comel ni. habis tu bila aku nak belajar?

ah dilemma. hm. mungkin tak dapat memegang takhta kelas kali ini, takpalah (TIPU).

patutnye form 4 ni aku takyah menggelabah nak nombor 1 segala, markah koko lebih penting. masuk form 5 nak menggelabah belajar pun menggelabahlah, memang patut. tapi kalau dah aku ni aku, takda tahun yang dikecualikan. nak menang je. usahanya takda, berangan tak habis-habis.

lagi-lagi bila berchoral speaking hari-hari, mulala kenangan silam menggamit memori. dalam sejam sehari aku guna untuk mengimbau kisah 3 tahun dulu. teringat waktu MRSM. teringat Minggu Bahasa, teringat gang choral speakers pertama. bila dah teringat semua tu, mesti teringat dia. wee, rindu lah pulak. aku berhajat nak tulis pasal waktu hati berbunga itu dalam blog, tapi tunggu lah ye, bila free sikit, dan bila muka lebih nipis dari biasa.

bila terpaksa pergi sekolah, berchoral speaking, tidur petang, tidur malam, buat kerja sekolah dan tengok TV dalam sehari, 24 jam memang tak cukup. mulalah aku salahkan matahari, apasal kau cepat sangat turun dan terbit hah? baru tutup mata pukul 2 pagi, tak sampai satu saat rasanya, dah kena bangun untuk hari baru pulak. agenda, sama.

nescafe, sahabat lama, kita bertemu semula.

Banyak Benda Nak Cerita, Tapi Takda Apa Nak Kata

1. Aku rasa aku ada banyak untuk tunjuk, untuk buktikan, untuk cuba, untuk dicabar. tapi, how can i spread my wings in this awfully hollow tunnel? tunnel so long, i cant even see the tiny light. as though the tunnel goes to no end, and my wings rot to ashes, a glow they never have.

2. Sekarang aku macam takda kawan yang betul-betul kawan. aku ikut orang for the sake of not being left out. aku cari topik bodoh untuk bersembang, for the sake of not being silent and lonely. aku berkawan dengan orang, for the sake of having companion. bukannya sebab aku pilih, sebab aku nak, sebab aku suka, sebab aku sayang, sebab sejiwa.

3. sekarang aku dikelilingi kawan-kawan yang tak paham apa aku cakap. kalau dengan mereka dulu, kitorg boleh habiskan satu hari bersembang dan bergosip. kitorg menyampah tengok orang menggeletik bercinta, tapi kitorg masih cakap pasal laki. kitorg cakap pasal kejayaan, tapi masih berangan untuk kahwin dengan orang kaya. kitorg cakap pasal masalah sosial, tapi masih berharap kitorang tak mandul seraya dapat beranak nanti. kitorang pelik, dan lepas diorang pergi, takda sapa yang dapat berkongsi kepelikan itu dengan aku lagi.

4. I begin to text messages only to be saved in drafts. at least i have a reason to open the messaging folder, though there's no messages as always to wait for. i begin to text to myself, sharing things with myself, befriending with myself. i have become insane.

5. I have to lie to my 'recent' friends because they dont know the real me. i find its hard to explain, so i lie. i forget how i opened up to my 'previous' friends. a couple of them knew too much, i dont know how i even ended up telling them those secrets of a lifetime. it was easy, one word and she understood, not one word followed by endless explanation. i hate not being able to talk about my being and feeling. its not that i dont try, but i know how different my recent friends and i are. they dont talk about what i talk. they find my perspectives ridiculous. i get shut up all the time by their blank stares and emotionless responses. we have nothing in common, we cant stumble into a topic and engage in it for hours. shit, get me out of here.

6. one day, i suddenly felt lost. and for a mysterious reason, i cried. when i realized how i about to, i said, oh no demit, not now, not forever, dont betray me, dont. . . but they did. the tears did, just as how my friends disappoint me. i didnt see it coming, i guess it was just something i had buried deep inside, hidden, and it was about to emerge unannounced. i feel isolated when in truth i'm surrounded by people. i hate to go to school once more. if before this i was all excited, that was because i had something to count down to. but it had passed, i have reverted to my original condition. i feel a strong force which pulls me towards the bed and never to rise again, i cried, confirming the lame state of mine, of how i have never cured, but those hopeful times were just some kind of temporary distractions.

7. dan itulah sebabnya kenapa aku tak pergi sekolah ganti tadi. bukan aku sahaja, tapi satu kelas takda, mungkin sorang dua yang bersemangat waja sahaja. kalau dulu, sekolah ganti atau kelas tambahan disambut dengan girang, itu bermakna kitorg boleh bawak handphone dan camera dan camwhore seperti orang gila. tapi sekarang, siapa nak camwhore dengan aku? aku tau isnin ni akan meletus gunung berapi, buat kesepuluh juta kalinya, tapi kali ni magnitude gegaran lebih besar, jadi kitorg dah bersiap sedia sebab kitorg mmg cari pasal. takpa, lebih banyak sebab untuk menangis depan bos besar, lebih banyak peluang untuk ubah keadaan.

8. aku sedang mengusha seseorang ni, semata-mata supaya ada sesuatu untuk dibuat ketika rehat masa aku duduk berdiam diri semeja dengan 'recent friends' yang tak bercakap apa-apa.

9. lagi tiga minggu periksa besar, jadi aku akan cuba untuk tak online. aku akan belajar hari-hari walaupun godaan tidur sangat tinggi memandang sekarang hujan sudah mula membasahi bumi. takpa, aku cuba jadi nerd sejati. alang-alang social life aku dah musnah, baik aku tak sia-siakan peluang itu dengan belajar dan belajar, diharapnya dapat menandingi penangan budak asrama.

10. aku yang tinggal, tapi aku rasa seperti aku yang dah lama pergi. babai.

Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang 2010

ingat lagi macamana aku merengek haritu sebab dapat dua je matapelajaran terbaik? rupanya BM, cikgu salah. macamana boleh tersalah dan macamana boleh terbetulkan, itu aku taktau. tapi, alhamdulillah.

asalnya mereka order plague aku satu untuk 8A, satu untuk subject semua himpun sekali (masa rehersal aku guna Kak Nurlin punya, penuh ruang tulis matapelajaran terbaik, ada 6 babe). tapi tiba-tiba ada penyelamat misteri kata aku yg highest BM, jadi mereka pun order lagi satu untuk aku, untuk BM sahaja. maksudnya, aku ada 3 lah plague tu. hip hip hooray.

tapi ada isu yg belum terhurai. satu subjek ni, cikgu kelas sebelah yang tanda kertas tetiba jadi strict from soft, so budak kelas sebelah sorang dua je dapat A. jadi kalau betulla logik aku ni, kelas aku yg dapat highest masa trial untuk subject tu. aku tau sebab aku yang kirakan markah semua orang. dan sebab aku ingat lagi camna aku excited kira kertas sendiri dapat highest.

lagi satu subject pulak, aku takda salah, tapi cikgu kata subject tu tak boleh dapat 100%, jadi satu markah aku ditolak saje-saje je. mungkin budak yang dapat anugerah tu cikgu kasi 100%.

tau kenapa aku ingat semua ni? sebab aku keep track on setiap exam. sapa dapat apa highest, sapa dapat berapa A. tapi taktaula kot-kot otak aku dah mereng, data semuanya dah tak betul.

dalam doa pembuka majlis tadi, ada "jadikanlah penerima anugerah pada hari ini golongan yang bersyukur". cuma keadaannya sekarang, aku dahlah stay, jadi apalah salahnya kalau bagi fair and square sikit? aku tak pindah, aku bolot semua hadiah. kan?

kalau aku ni Rachel dalam Glee, memang aku redah je pejabat pengetua terus tanya semua. tapi aku bukan Rachel dalam Glee, aku ni aku je dalam alam realiti.

jap, ini selingan ya. ramai senior dapat matriks, bagusnya korang, bangga juniormu ini. Kak Nurlin pun. dapat matriks. je. sorry, aku bukan underestimate Kak Nurlin, ish takkanlah aku nak underestimate idola aku kot (sila bangga). cuma, Kak Nurlin weh, Kak Nurlin yang Kak Nurlin tu, tak dapat lagi offer untuk fly or at least masuk UM macamtu. result tak keluar lagi kot. tapi susah nak percaya Kak Nurlin yang Kak Nurlin tu terpaksa tunggu dekat matriks.

aku ni pulak, yang aku hanyalah aku, aku yang aku ni, berangan bagai nak rak. konon nak fly merata-rata pas SPM, macam Uda. Uda taktau result lagi dah selamat dok US. hish. kalau Kak Nurlin pun kena tunggu dekat sini, ini kan pulak aku. aku mungkin nak terlalu banyak, tapi tu memang aku.

aku macam Rachel dalam Glee. cuma mudahnya kalau Glee tu aku punya realiti.


okay, selingan tamat.


tak seperti yang aku impikanlah harini. aku impikan terpandang senyuman itu, memancar-mancar sinar mata, bahagia berputik di jiwa. tapi tak jadi satu hapa pun. buat penat aku tunggu detik ni selama tiga minggu. orang bukan nak dengar cerita aku, aku dengar cerita diorang. aku duduk tepi je. aku message Aisyah, bff selamanya yang sentiasa mendengar. aku buat kerja sendiri, nak dengar perbualan, aku diluar perimeter dorang. tapi takpa, aku sabar.

dahlah semua balik cepat tadi. takda pun gambar beramai-ramai 3C1. mungkin takda sapa jakun dengan budak sekolah Lembah. buat penat aku charge bateri fon satu hari satu malam. ingat nak havoc photoshoot. takde pun menegur ex-classmate lelaki. perangai dulu masih wujud, ignorance. takde pun balik lambat untuk berbual. berbual pasal kenangan terindah, bukannya pasal benda yang aku muak dengar.

baru berapa bulan, baru berapa bulan.

Ya Allah. untuk Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang dua tahun depan, bagila kehadiranku diiringi dengan kompang rebana bagai, kalau boleh siap dihujani kelopak bunga ros lagi. bagi aku dapat hadiah besar tu, bagiiiii siniiiiiiiiiii. Amin.

P/S yang PANJANG; aku jadi MC perhimpunan minggu depan. khairi yang bestari telah memilih aku, aku of all people. padahal cikgu dah pilih AIJUGHEEN. tapi khari pilih aku. boleh pengsan depan tu. kalau akak menerima kemaluan besar isnin ni, memang kau kena khari. kau kenaaa.