Gimme Some Comments

blogging has become an addiction. till now, every so often i'll have to remind myself that my life is not dedicated only for blogging. so, as the result, banyak pos yg tertunda. dan memang akan di poslah, insyaallah.

1. about couple (memang akan jd panjang. berdasarkan agama n opinion aku sendiri.)
2. about bahasa melayu (yes u read it right)
3. about budak2 'cool' zaman skrg
4. about zaman dulu2 (insyaallah akan disertakan a set of old pic of mine)
5. about my unreachable and unlikely-to-happen hope and dream.

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ok. i always find beautiful and remarkable quote or saying in my reading that i hope can be said to me. entah kenapa. terlalu mengharap?? takk aku tak suka berharap. it will just do the killing more. terlalu mengimpikan yg mustahil walaupon mengetahui hal tersebut begitu jauh panggang dr api dan beranggapan 'it doesnt hurt to dream'? mungkin.

yg paling aku ingat mungkin sebab baru je bace, is from twilight. i wont run for the "so the lion falls for the lamb" kind of thing. u only fool yourself if u find that 'sweet'. i find that sweet too, but i never cross the line that distinguish what is reality and fantasy.

the one that is remarkable is this line that edward said to bella;

"how old are you, bella?"

and that is just so enough for me.

please read it metaphorically, not literally.
edward saw bella, read it METAPHORICALLY again. he saw bella and how did she think, although he never 'read' her. edward saw that bella's unwrinkled face doesnt show her maturity. that bella is too young for the way she thought, for what she did. that she was actually an adult in heart.

i wish the same thing is said to me. really. it is just enough for one to see right through me, exactly me. that one can actually listen to what one hear about the things i said. not only swallows it. and take it, literally.

that one can realize it all, the way edward did when he heard bella talking casually about her mom. it will convince me that i actually have something more, rather than what i appear to be, and that i can say i'm different. but i'm not. the things in me are the same things in everyone, only i'm too fool to think it otherwise. pity.

he didnt actually heard, he listened.

and in heroes, when sylar sliced claire's (my nephew thinks i look like claire, fuaa) head and examined her brain to know how actually it worked for her to regenarate, he found something else. he found the kindness and goodness of claire and her real power that she didnt discover it yet. i wonder what the power might be, wheather it is literally ir metaphorically. maybe he knew what can claire do, or he knew how far and deep can claire feel. and i believe knowing how claire's brain work is one of the factor why sylar turned to a sweet angel now. he said to her

"you are special, claire"

dont read it as it is, read it as what it hides. he's not talking about claire's ability, nor that he's in love with her that he said such thing, but because now he knew how a brain works, like really knew it; how it feels, how it thinks. he had discovered a part of brain where it doesnt only hold the truth of the special ability, but also the truth of the person herself.

i just want that. so far the things that people had said that i found sincere enough are
"aku rase kau best" drpd seorg kawan
"kau special ape" seorg kawan lg

and plg kelakar tp aku sukaa;

syafiqah's mom, she saw my face only once and said something like this

"i can see the determination on her face"

she said that to syafiqah. haha. and syafiqah quoted that to me. time tu aku gelak gila gilaa kot.
determination? on this face? aku rase muke aku mcm blur je. tp mmg menghargailah ckp auntie tu. maybe she sees me first, when i can not see myself properly.

ceh.

Bukit Antarabangsa Hampir Tak Jadi Bukit Dah

pagi ni sekali lg terjadi tragedi kat bukit antarabangsa an. dasat dasat. 4 dah ditemui meninggal. lets just hope miracle will change the others' destiny. dulu dah jd dah, tragedi highland tower tu, kat bukit antarabangsa jugak. kan highland tower nya kes dulu dasat gila. aku pelikla asal ade lg manusia nak duduk berdekatan ngn bukit antarabangsa tu. asal? sebab tempat tu konon classy? hah skg dorg plak yg kena timbus. kesiann
ambekla pengajaran kalau ye pon, crlah land yg flat, kite pon sekian lama dah blaja kat geografi, mana bentuk muka bumi yg sesuai utk petempatan kan.

ni semua manusia jugak punye pasal. alam dah marah la tu. negara kite ni dok sebok ngn pembangunan sini sana, merata2 ade je bangunan naek sekelip mata. sedarlah, kite ni dah cukup maju dah. bersyukur la. jgn tiru negara org, berlumba2 nak menang tp yg asas nya buat tak kesah je. bencana alam ni, semua nak ingatkan manusia.

sape nak disalahkan? kerajaan? hah pikir la sendiri.

kalau dgr berita betul2, landslide kali ni disebabkan air dlm tanah yg takde ruang dah menolak2. utk dpt ruang lebih. maknanya? kawasan tadahan hujan, patutnya tempat air yg semulajadi dah takde. dah diganti dgn bangunan besi yg bawak mcm2 masalah. agak kecewa lah kan, kadang2 sebab sikap segelintir manusia, manusia laen yg innocent turut menjadi mangsa.


semua sebab salah manusia. insafla. kau nak buat mcmane lg ngn negara, dunia ni? nak bg mcm cerita doremon abad ke 22? semua kereta boleh terbang? org pki baju getah?? sejak skola rendah lg kite dah blaja, pasal pencemaran, ketidak seimbangan alam la ape la. tp bila tgk dunia luar, ade pemimpin kite fikir pasal tu? kat otak dorg nak duet je.

maaf maaf. teremo. bukan selalu aku ckp pasal masalah negara ni kat blog. terkeluarla semua.
memang aku minat pasal bnda2 ni. tp kang terkeluar semua fakta segala, dah kena hempuk lak nnt. so baek berjaga2 dlm berkata2.

ok ape yg kite boleh buat skg.
tolong berdoa la utk org2 kat B.A tu.
harini hari dorg, kot2 esok hari kite kan.

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baru2 ni aku salu mimpi. jarang tido yg tak bermimpi sekarang. so agak menghiburkanla.
and mimpi mmg best. aku tak setuju ngn kata2

"alaa dlm mimpi buat ape. . ."

hoi. kau pernah mimpi ke ape aku mimpi? at least bila kite mimpi dptla jugak kite merasa kan. kalau nak tunggu jd realiti tah bila plak la. mimpi aku skg yg mcm pelik2. tp best.

tp pg td aku mimpila pasal satu bnda yg aku kne buat ni. before aku buat tu, dlm mimpila, aku rase tak sedap hati dgt. risauuu sgt. tak pnah rase mcm tu dlm dunia sebenar. ni bukan setakat risau2 takot kejadian yg tak diingini berlaku tau. ni risau yg kau rase mmg ajal kau dah dekat. mcm tu la aku risau.

aku mimpi before aku pergi buat bnda tu, aku peluk mama semua. tp aku xnanges. aku just sangat risau, dlm hidup aku yg memang penuh dgn kerisauan ni pon aku tak pnah risau mcm tu. memang mcm betol. memang aku rase mcm masa aku da smp betol2. aku tak perasaan pon aku mimpi. tak pnah rase mcm tu.

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recently kerja aku kalau on, aku akan bukak satu web ni. dekat situ memang byk ckp pasal agama. and of courselah categori forum yg plg banyak aku bukak ialah berkaitan couple, dan perasaan. setiap forum tu aku bace. so kiranya adela jugak ilmu utk aku sangkal or sokong pape berkaitan couple ni. tapi memangla, thp kealiman org2 kat web tu tiada tandingannya. aku ni da la org biase, bukak web tu nak bace serba sedikit tentang agama, tp perlakuan ahli2 web yg laen buat aku tertekan di jiwa.

aku ingat lagi mase aku kat mrsm, aku selalu plan nak join usrah. or PERPIM. PERPIM ni nama panjangnya persatuan pelajar islam maktab. mula2 memang aku benci, tahap alim yg melampau sampai mak aku pon kate tayah ikot. kang sekejap je alim aku, sbb tensyen tros jd liar plak kang.
tp- lama2 tanpa dipaksa aku berminat. aku nak join akak2 perpim ni, nak dengar usrah semua.

masalahnya dorg semua ni hijab memang labuh gilala menutupui seluruh badan. handsock mesti pakai. menundukkan pandangan, tak berkawan ngn laki. padahal aku pulak sgt tak mcm tu. so aku takut kena paksa jd mcm tu bila aku dah join dorg.

satu bnda org patut tau tentang aku;
JGN PAKSA AKU BUAT BNDA W/P KE ARAH KEBAIKAN. CAKAP ELOK2, JGN CKP NGN MUKA YG MENDATANGKAN MELUAT.
sebab aku jenis senang nak ikot, so kau tak paksa pon takpe. tp bila kau dah selalu sgt kasi ceramah itu ini, paksa2, bebel2, marah2 smp aku stress, memang susahla aku nak dengar ckp.

aku jd baek kat mrsm ni pon bkn sbb kena paksa. bila kena marah aku buat donno je. tp lama2 the words would sink in.

akak2 usrah ni garang. dan rase pelikla kalau aku join tp tak bersikap mcm dorg. so aku pon tak penah join usrah lagi, atau perpim, atau rakan al huda. ade budak2 batch aku yg perangai pelik2 pon masuk rakan al huda, akak2 suka padahal mcm org taktau je perangai dorg. aku la antara 4 org drpd seluruh budak pompuan batch aku yg tak masuk rakan al huda tu. mcm hina dan jahat je bila aku tak join persatuan agama. akak2 pon mula la pndg slack.

tulaa dorg. dorg tak tauuu kebenarannya.

ok aku dah byk bebel.
laen kali sambung. tataaa~

my love is based on friendship

baru habis membaca Where Rainbows End by cecelia ahern.

gil dorg ni. memang soulmate betul. who can guess they will eventually be together when they are 50 eh? peluang nak ade zuriat pon dah takde. kesiannnnn.

they tell each other EVERYTHING. AND they have been friends since they were seven yet they never lost contact even for a week. now that shows what the real friendship is withouth hiding any secret intention. and they are faithful btw, sebab lepas rosie terkissed alex tapi tak dibalas,
dorg still kawan.

dorg takdelaa "oh die tak ske aku buatpe nak kawan"
dorg buang segala awkwardness sbb dorg syg friendship dorg.
not like him, bastard. muahaha.

even before bace where Where Rainbows End, kann, memang aku dah aim dah. nak bercinta ngn bestfriend je. heheh gatal. serious. because bestfriend is the one who knows u the best kan.
u dont hide ur flaws from bestfriend, sometimes u even reveal them, but u do hide ur flaws from the person u aim to be with. and that's not healthy. and when u go out u tend to impress the person because u know u have to be suberbly impressive to let the romance takes place. tak ori langsung.

tapi bila ngn bestfriend, we try to annoy them so much. we burp. we fart. we show our stupid self. senang cakap bestfriend tau lah perangai kite camne. ni kalau bercinta ngn bukan bestfriend, org biase, kite mesti segan sentiasa kann? pastu try nak jadi mcm yg die nak, hipokrit betol.

aku even buat satu quiz en, and indeed my love is based on friendship.

jap korg bestfriend yg berjantina lelaki jgn tiba2 menjauhkan diri dari aku lak.

bukannya aku nak kat kau pon. haha. aku takde perasan kat laki sekarang. walaupon afiq gila cakap aku lesbian, tapi aku tak ok. so hazirah kite meraba awk tu atas dasar maen2 je. muahaha. jangan risau laki dan pompuan. friend friend :D

and mmg banyak plak saying mcm ckp;
friendship is more worth than romance.
mmg betul kalau fikir balik kn. bestfriend is forever, lover is er.. not forever?
ah u got the idea.

but in order to have such u have to gamble everything especially ur friendship. and if it turns out bad, jangan haraplah korg boleh jadi mcm dulu.

so here i say, dont try. just let it be. i know some people who is in this case (ehhem ehhem)
and dont risk what could be a lifetime treasure; let it be. it will lead there somehow if u were meant to be together. ceh. kalau korg pegang saying ni, memang gejala couple yg tempah hotel, buang anak takkan terjadi lah.

tapi papepon pesanan penaja yg paling penting;
SILA BERCINTA LEPAS BELAJAR. AND KALAU ADE PERASAAN PON JGN LAYAN. KAWEN .. EH, KAWAN JE. BERCINTA PON LEBIH BAIK SELEPAS KAHWIN. terima kasih.

camne nak kawen kalau tak kenal betul2? tu la gunanya couple mereka kata.
tula gunanya berkawan aku kata.
berkawan tanpa agenda tersembunyi, kau pon tau sikap buruk die semua. orang sekarang ni banyakk bercinta bgi nak rak belum pape dah merasa mcm2 (otak sape cpt pick up bertuah anda) bila kawen dua bulan terus cerai. memang umat akhir zaman betul.

aku outdated kau kate? ade aku kesah? takdeee.

Your Love is Based on Friendship

For you, chemistry doesn't really happen without compatibility. Companionship and openness are the most important parts of your relationships. Whoever you love should be your best friend. And falling in love with a good friend is never out of the question. Why your love can last: You only fall for people who you truly understand... and who truly understand you Why your love can fail: Sometimes you don't admit how important physical chemistry is to you

I Love Novels of Disaster

after twilight i have 6 novels to finish, and now i have just finished PS I Love You by cecelia ahern. so now i got 5 left ;

notice the pattern of my reading? never 'how to be popular' sort of thing. always the novel full of troubles and misery and problems and life disaster; get my head out of my own life i supposed. but how bad lives in the book could be, i always find something that would make me jealous with the characters' being. still for me reading is a therapy and would be much better if not including all the happiness of the world.

PS I Love You is a what should i say? easy read novel.

no its not about hi school sweethearts leaving notes at the end of every class on the table which end with ps i love you, not that kind of easy read. its a novel full of emotion, which is bittersweet and makes me feel very sorry for the character but at the same time jealous of her life. she's been through a dreadful tragedy and yet she's got her family and friends sticking with her and she's got a life full of surprise and not as bad as she thinks it is.

i almost want to be holly. to feel the longing, the happiness of finding such man and the sadness to watch him die and the support she has and actually many other wonderful things in life waiting for her only she, doesnt know that which leads her to be so gloomy.

it is heavy jugak i might say, for one who doesnt enjoy reading such a sad story about a widow. but its easy and i feel at ease reading it. never so jump-at-the-new-surprising-sentence. its a novel u can read on a vacation, at a beach maybe. and never have to go through the tense.

a novel to ease your soul.

my favorite quote and the one somehow made my eyes watered is ;

"nobody's life is filled with perfect little moments. and if they were, they wouldnt be perfect little moments. they would just be normal. how would you ever know happiness if you'd never experienced downs?"

the last line that hits me most.

oh you wouldnt know how deep it touches me. i cried. again. not a surprise.

sometimes i just wonder how can one has everything so perfectly easy. even though maybe i have something she wishes she has still i often thing she's the lucky one. because what i have is not many to be proud of. not many compared to what they have that burns me. that is more to be catched, more to be embraced, and i cant see my future if this path keeps creeping on the very norm of life, on something expected. i need more miracles to help me fly.

even smallest thing they have i do adore, i long for that something that they are never aware of. they just go through it, pass it as usual and not caring to feel blessed and to be extra happy for what they have. why should they be aware and let alone happy for such an easy thing to get in life? they will be happy if they can buy the ridiculously expensive cloth and ah never mind the tiny little things they have which i want to have as well.

they always have it right away, shoved to their nose whenever they need them. so they never feel the pain, the bad feeling of not having things particularly the things that appear to them; everyday's dust. cant blame them though for being showered with the beam of heaven.

but i think those people can never feel happiness the way one with pain does.

they got it, use it, pass it, leave it. but for the people who feel the pain in lives,

the things 'easy' people see as dust can appear like sand of diamonds washed ashore.

i think the most painful life to get through is having not enough love and even when others claim the love is always there; somehow u cant feel it. and also the uncertainty of where your future might lead u and even when u have the key, the door always seems to be locked even more.

ah damn us humans too selfish thinking of our own selves and mopping for our own life's sake and thinking our life sucks when other people might have it worse. but thankfully i know my life is better then theirs, and should be grateful for that, but not as better as others', and ah after all what can moping and hoping do to hurt us even more?

for now i just accept life as it is, and be thankful for what i have,

and really hope that the quote will beam on me someday,

and i'll be the happiest person in the world considering everything.

Aku kekasih Fahrin Ahmad

DREAM 1

this dream was weird because i already knew my mark for bm, but then ...

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cgu mona said our marks were rather disappointing, and only two got As.

izzudin got A and tah i forgot the other one. and that meant i didnt get A.

andd...

I got 76!!! which in the dream was a b. no more hope to be on the top ;(

oh my god.

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in real life i got A but not 76, and it made me worry because maybe,

the mark i got was the wrong one. and maybe, my number was rolling down the list. or else why in the world would i have such dream? okay mimpi mainan tidur. but as tomorrow is the day kitorg dapat final result, nombor, ranking, hah it maybe means something.

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DREAM 2

and this dream, is the best lah betul aku cakap.

guess what. fahrin ahmad was in it. yes, the fahrin ahmad.

he was a friend of family, and that day was my brother's wedding (tah bila pulak aku ade abang kelima nih)

and after penat2 handle kenduri i fell asleep. so i'm gonna write started from that moment lah.

and paling best, the night before the kenduri kan orang byk datang rumah, fahrin was there too.

so we sort of did something that meant we were together. ah jgn fikir jauh. gatal.

it was just something stupid but at that time we started holding hands :D

hahaha. serious ni FAKTA mimpi ok BUKAN AUTA semata. terimalah kenyataan aku bercinta ngn fahrin dalam mimpi tu. kalau rase nak termuntah sila jgn baca.

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"ergh. penatnya" i sighed sambil melihat fahrin berdiri di muka pintu bilikku (kenduri, semua org share bilik)

"dah lama u tidur tau. bangunla dah senja ni" dengan hensem beliau berkata2.

"haa? pukul 7?! u tau tak mana mama i?"

"oh family u dah pergi rumah belah perempuan. dorg taknak kejut u tadi"

"so sape lagi kat umah ni?" hmm. peluang. muahahaha

"u, i ngn ade sedara mara tumpang mandi solat semua"

"ohhh" dammit.

"hey i heard about your dinner tu. boleh i antarkan nanti"

"ya allah!!! dinner krk!!! lupa betul!!!" aku gelabah bangun. "ya allah camne ni?? camne i boleh lupa! u die start pukul 8 ok! i ade sejam lagi ni!"

"la ye ke?? so siap lah cepat!!!"

so i grabbed my towel and my night gown semua. takde mase nak berkemban depan sedara mara walaupon fahrin ade. lah. banyak gilaaa sedara aku nak gne toilet. sampai berattur ni! beragaklaa sikit, janganla buat rumah aku mcm dewan kebajikan. kenduri dah habes! balik!!!

still aku pon ikot beratur. oh my lamanya. aku pergi toilet master bedroom mama. ahh tidak, lagi ramai sedara yg aku tak kenal pon. adehh.

"er boleh guna toilet tak? ade hal nak cepat ni"

"tak boleh. kena beraturla. kitorg pon lama tunggu ni" sorg sedara berupa bangla jawab. tah bila plak aku ade pertalian darah ngn bangla ni. so aku tunggu. takleh buat ape ah. selepas rasenya 27 minit tunggu, aku pon dapat masuk.

tensyen gilaaaa. patutnya akulaa yg kena guna toilet lama. ngn berpeluh melekit melayan tetamu ke sini ke sana kasi bunga telur semua, aku la yg kena mandi puas2 utk jadi wangi malam ni. ni tak. demi menjimatkan masa, aku pon mandi dalam lima minit je.

"jangan pandang!! i nak cari baju! ya allah i taktau pon nak pakai baju ape!!!!"

"theme die ape?" fahrin hensem tanya sambil tak pandang aku. do not misunderstand. i was still in the night gown ok. die cuma mengikut arahan je.

"err. traditional or formal i think. obv i nak pakai traditional la. tapi takde baju yg that traditional. takkanla nak pakai baju kurung biase kan?" bebelan.

"buatlah jadi that traditional" sukahati kau je.

"ohh i tau! i ade sari, so sari pon traditional kan? i nak pakai sari tu! lain dari yg lain. u rase?"

"anything will do" ceh. camnila aku nak. hekhek.

yes baby?

so i changed to my sari. baju dalam die hijau2 sikit, tapi sari yg balut badan aku tu kaler purple. weird combination. but tah camne, i looked stunning. hakhak.

"there!" aku tarik nafas lega.

"siap? ok jom. kite ade 5 minutes before 8 ni"

"nak pg mane?" tiba2 ade harith iskandar lak. hesh kacau je. die mcm sidekick fahrinla dlm mimpi ni.

"nak hantar pg dinner die. sape lagi ade kat bawah?"

"oh semua sedare die dah balik. tinggal kite tiga je. aku nak ikot"

"kau jage rumah lah please?" bestnya ckp ngn artis camtu.

"ala dinner kau bukan jauh kan, aku boring lah" kate beliau sambil menjilat sudu ais krim.

"ah yelahh. jom!"

fahrin ngn harith mendahului. sekejap je dorg dah masuk kereta. aku pandang kat cermin besar kat living room tu, one last check. oh. my. god. i looked horrible.

my face was pale. my lips was also pale. i had eye bags. and worse, my hair was uncombed, it had intersecting lines for god's sake, and i looked really hideous. ah well, at least i got fahrin as a boyfriend. but i really had to do something about this.

"heyyy! heyyyy!!!!" i called the guys in the car. harith went out.

"harith, kau cakap kat fahrin, aku nak buat final touch. jap je tau!!!!!!!

so i ran upstairs and began my agenda.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . .

"amaa? u tau tak dekat sejam i duduk dlm kereta tunggu u. u buat pe?"

"ah. i had final touch."

"like what?"

"mandi. takpe rambut i dah kering. manicure. scrub. and sekarang simple make up"

i said as i applied the mascara. dark eyeshadow, rose blusher, deep earth colour lipstick.

there. natural-look make up. nothing too obvious and girly and vogue.

"u tau tak sekarang pukul berapa?"

"taulaa. u jgn buat i tensyen. ok sekarang dah 9.30, but i'm still going. takkanla i nak pg awal ngn muka mcm tadi. baik lambat sikit asal i nampak elok kan?"

"masalahnya dah lambat sangat ni"

"i knowww. i kena pergi tau tak. kang marah plak budak2 tu bila tak cukup org pergi. and, i dah bayar, nanti burn masuk perut orang lain" aku jawab sambil pakai anting2 yg memang matchlah ngn sari ni. what an indian look. satu lgi FAKTA ; kawan2 aku kat mrsm dulu ingat aku ade mix ngn hindustan something sebab mata aku ade line hitam. tergelak2 aku sampai dorg rase terhina.

"tengok. i dah siap. perfectly. takdela maen taruk mcm tadi. tapi sekarang dah malamla, nnt kalau family i balik camne? harith taknak jaga rumah. and asal dorg tak balik2 lagi ah?"

"takpe nanti kitorg balikla jaga rumah ok after hantar u"

"alaa. i thought u were going with me?"

"what? of couse not. but i will be happy to" he smiled. ahh

"we arent allowed to bring guests i think, but kesah ape, they will be happy to meet you"

"boleh ke? ok then" ahh. going to the dinner with fahrin, what a surprise to my friends.

"eh jap. i ingat! tonight my bro from new zealand nak baliklaaa! patutla family i tak balik lagi. mama ade cakap dorg nak trus amek angah!"

"la ye ke?"

"asal laa semua harini. wedding, dinner, arrival. takde hari laen ke?"

i said. ouch. wait. i stiffened. oh. my.

"fahrin, em. harini hari ape?"

"er, selasa?"

"ya allah. ya allah. ya allah. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"kenapa kenapa?" fahrin gelabah utk aku. how sweet. haha

"fahrin. adoi. i silap. tadi i bangun u terus cakap pasal dinner. and i tgh mamai. sebenarnyaaa"

"ape???"

"sebenarnya dinner tu esok!!!!" i felt like crying. trus aku terduduk. sia sia semua.

"ha? betul ke?" die pon terkejut.

"betul. aduhh. penat i dress semua camni. make up la manicure laa. last2 esok!!! ahhh"

we sat in silence.

then fahrin broke the silence.

"hm. takpelah. tak sia sia pon. jom i bawak u makan."

"kat mane? i pelik la pakai mcm indian tetiba"

"takpelah, so kite pergi restoran india. jom?" he smiled and tugged my hand. ah how dream boleh menghalalkan perbuatan. hahaa

"hahh. yelah. jom. make sure berbaloi ngn ape i pakai ni"

"okay."

so we walked hands in hands towards the car :D

____________________________________________________________________

too good to be true?

menyampah?

impossible?

aku make up?

aku manicure?

aku speaking?

aku ngn fahrin?

aku pakai sari?

aku ngn fahrin?

pelik?

terimalah kenyataan.

pelik pelik pon, aku tak menipu.

nama pon mimpi :D

tekak yg sakit mengeluarkan kata2

tekak aku sakit lagi. tonsel ok.
ape kau ingat ringan sangat ke sakit aku ni. ringan2 bak datanglaa transfer tekak.
aku asal tonsel je mesti kne flu. tonsel dah habes, batuk plak datang.
macamtulaa cyclenya.

punca?? nah.
minum air sejuk/air panas/bersin salah style/kepala terbalik sampai body fluid masuk idung.

besides reason aku sesungut teruk and tahap malas yg melampau,
tonsel jugaklah punca utama aku selalu tak datang sekolah.

doctor suruh operate. dah sebabnya sejak aku sekolah rendah muka aku jela yg selalu kat klinik tu. dua bulan sekali mesti kena. doctor pon siap dah menunggu kedatangan aku tau.
kiranya antibiotik tu mcm dah jadi makanan ruji plak.

yang takutnya, antibiotik kan kalau banyak2 kan tak elok, boleh kena sakit buah pinggang ke ape tah. and menurut doctor gregory house dlm cerita house, antibiotik juga menyebabkan gigi menjadi kuning. padanla gigi aku agak tak bersinar sekarang ni. terkilan betul.

tapi aku tamau operate. tolonglah. kang tiba2 terpotong plak voicebox aku segala,
dah bisu sape nak jawab??? takpasal2 tertinggal la plak kapas kat tekak aku ni. oh mintak jauhlaa. and tekak kan sebenarnya antibody semulajadi badan something, so maybe ade kemungkinan yg bila dah buang, badan jadi makin tak tahan bakteria lah. kang macam2 penyakit lak singgah kang. tu tak kira lagi ade mitos kate kalau buang tonsel berat badan naekk wooo.

kang kalau tak operate plak, camne aku nak hidup? dah air pon boleh mendatangkan masalah kesihatan, memang susahlah. camnelaa aku nak survive kalau tiba2 aku kne pergi oversea, takyah pk jauhlah ok camne kalau tiba2 aku kne masuk hostel balik?
wehh pedih wehh aku dah rase dah pengalaman menderita tonsel kat mrsm.

aku dtg minum air kat rumah org laen pon, tiba2 boleh shivered badan tau. kira aku ni boleh jadi mesin mendetect bnda2 kotor kat dalam air la. amacam nak offer air rumah kau?





aku ternanti2 satu hari bila aku tayah risau pasal periksa.

tapi ade ke hari camtu? tak mungkinlah terutama untuk org cam aku yg ade sedara sebaya yg maknya asek nak mengompare kan aku ngn anak die tak habes habess. sikit2 call tye perkembangan. tak pelah die nak ckp ape ma biar je, aku ckp kat mama. tp dlm hati, go get a life lah.

aku rase kan, sampai mati pon aku kne bersaing ngn die.
sekarang compare nombor, result, koko,
lagi setahun compare pmr, offer asrama,
lagi tiga tahun compare spm, offer u,
lagi sepuluh tahun compare kerja apa, achievement setakat mana degree ke master,
lagi dua belas tahun compare sape kawen dulu, berapa banyak rombongan meminang,
lagi lima belas tahun compare sape suami, kerja, income, rumah besar mana
lagi dua puluh tahun compare berapa anak
lagi tiga puluh tahun compare anak sape lagi pandai, dah pergi haji belum,
lagi empat puluh tahun compare sape menopause dulu, sape cucu lagi ramai
lagi lima puluh tahun compare kubur sape paling cantik plak.

aku tak kesah.

my achievements are only for my record, and not done to impress any of u people let alone winning this unhealthy competition. thank you.

bukan hari2 kita last day form 2 kan?

so mari bergambar!!! :D
sayangnya kitorg tak dapat bergambar kat kelas kitorg, memandangkan kehadiran
kitorg di tingkat atas dewan peperiksaan SPM adalah prohibited.
so kitorg hanya menumpang kelas2 di bawah,
yang sangat langit dan bumi daripada kelas kitorg.
so, jangan ckp kelas kitorg buruk, itu kelas diorang.

sekali lagi ; INI BUKAN KELAS KAMI!

i'm going to miss that pipi. and you're going to miss this pervert.

kaum yg sayangkan game daripada classmate sendiri

bersama cikgu mona kesayangan. tahun depan cgu ajar ye??

4 jejaka terhangit untuk tatapan korg

LISTEN weh,
i love you Cemerlang (1) the third batch of RK!!!
i know i dont have your love,
but seriously i dont care.
although u keep making me a subject to gossip (ceh. haha)
a subject to laugh at
a subject whose personal life can never be that private,
a subject who tends to make u angry
a subject sometimes hurt by your words
but love is stronger than hatred kan?
this will keep going, there will be times when u hate me and i hate u and we hurt each other and we fight and cry
but in the end, it's all about love.
A tear or two wont hurt on days like this kan?
so that was what we did.
cried. i likeeee.