Suddenly i feel bad, but maybe i should. I'm not doing what i should be doing here in uk. I'm a scholar and a scholar shouldn't be a lazyass. I'm already here. Allah has given me everything, i have left my mom for this, people have paid for my studies... And what have i been doing all this time? I'm so ashamed of myself. If only the world knew they'd say i don't deserve it. I never overestimate myself or undermine anything, this is just how i am :'( Sedih sangat... Bila rasa bersyukur tu memang tak pernah habis tapi gaya macam tak bersyukur langsung. Thank you for giving me a wake up call without you knowing. Even though rasa macam ditampar hahaha. That's my conscience, see. The pits of being guilty. If i feel it, i feel it, nobody has to blame me. All it takes is something seemingly small or even unintended, to be said. To bring out the guilt in me. Or maybe it depends on who saying it since this never happened before, i don't know. How long will this epiphany stay, i have no idea. But it feels bad, and it's good :(
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