Well wishes

Yesterday was one of the nights of revisiting memory lane. yes, revisiting. because one visit is never enough, lulz. i scrolled through some screenshots in my old phone. laugh at some, smile at some, sad about some, and um, cried because of some. if you count two sheds of tears as that.

uploaded something on insta, too. and also posted a status of the same subject. hahaha.

I always think of good people who have ever been good to me and wish good things will happen to them, because they deserve it. Wherever you are, whatever you do, i wish you well :)

revisiting memory lane has those effects, you know. it also makes you want to reach out to people who once stood and sat beside you. most of the time, i don't reach out to anyone. i just think about them, and good thoughts come across my heart. i hope they count as prayers. i'm sure they are.

the post and status were not individually dedicated to anyone. nobody was personally mentioned. it was general, and for many people. but there was somebody i reached out to yesterday.

some of the screenshots reminded me of those months, weeks, and days, when i was not okay. really. not. okay. there was a friend who knew because she accidentally got involved in my life's mess, and she tried to make sure i survived. that i ate. that i went out. that i socialized. god even typing this gives me misty eyes. wth ama.

so i sent her this:

good people deserve good things in this world. and i'll be happy when their time comes :)


funny how i surprised someone with such a text yesterday, and today i received a similar message.

i haven't talked to this person in a long time. in fact, we didn't really talk much even on the internet. sure, some conversations, but that's all. are we friends? not in my definition. we were schoolmates who chatted online and smiled at each other in real life. but i think that person is nice to talk to, and we could talk to each other easily, which is nicer. the last time we did was when i was asked where was i now, to which i replied UK and got no reply after that. then today i got this.

i was a bit late in replying, as i always am, and it was really too late this time... of course i couldn't reply, the account has been deactivated. i wanted to say thanks and some well-wishes too :( it was my fault because i took a look at that message and saw the first few words, and did not open it straightaway, like always. i didn't read the whole thing. i thought it was a template message tailored the same for everyone. but it was not, it was a personal message for me :(

you see, this kind of people. i like them. i have a feeling this person said what was said for the sake of saying it; not for my reply. just like a few other people have done to me. they don't care about appearing weird saying such stuffs out of the blue, they just do. they don't care about what i'd say, if i'd be nice back, if it's gonna be awkward. they just say it because they want to.

People who say and do nice things without hoping for response or expecting any return are not only nice, they are kind. In my mind you get a round of applause and a bouquet of flowers... Even if i don't get to show i appreciate it, which is sad. but i'm happy you exist.

that's what i want to do, and sometimes do :)


but most of all. i thank God that some people see the goodness in me - truthfully i don't know where they get some of that - and He hides all that i lack. it makes me feel undeserving, but hey, who am i to deny such blessing? ;)