Red For Ma

thursday was my mom's birthday.

my birthday wish for my mom was a looong one. what i typed was what i sent, no edit or censorship whatsoever. it was honest, real, and... raw? i typed until i had nothing left to say. the sms ended up to be an mms instead and it took a while to be sent.

i almost cried writing it, lulz. the next morning after subuh i called my mom, i told her i would. i asked her if she cried, to which she replied, after a moment of hesitance "mmm sikit". i made my mom cry! that's a new level unlocked! and this time, for a good reason! hahaha. k. i told her she wouldn't be crying "a bit" if she were to read what i wrote about her on my blog :)

so on thursday i went out with my bro. before i bought something for my mom, i bought something(s) for me first. hehehe. i went to cala qisya. hehehe.

my friends call me duta cala qisya. probably because i was the first one among us to wear maggie shawl. and i don't think at that time i saw anyone else wearing cala qisya at intec... might have missed it. cala qisya is a very well known brand, people are gonna buy the products anyway, but after i started wearing it girls have been asking me things like "shawl ama cantik-cantik. mana beli?" now a couple of my friends have started being cala queens and i'd like to think thanks to me! lol. i swear girls look at me longer than they should, especially in the ladies. contemplating whether to ask me or not. huehue perasan. just a couple of days ago a stranger asked me where did i buy my shawl. so i explained that she could buy it online or go to the store and where the store is and how much it costs...

i should get paid. totally should. i should be the duta. or the model. and get free stuffs. yeah.

if you look closely i was wearing four slightly different styles. and i just figured out a whole different style :3

the last picture on the right is the shawl i just bought, along with other unworn two colours :3

and if you look closely i am just the type of human being with eye bags as part of me.

so don't look closely.

ok what was this post even about.


the next day, i went back home! but i went to jj first, to buy some other thing for my mom. then i went to secret recipe to buy red velvet for her. usually i bought her other cakes, this red velvet replaced another cake at the last minute. i have my own cute reason for it, hehe. my back seriously ached as i was backpacking the whole day. despite already having lunch i ordered a slice of cake for me, just to have a reason to rest at the restaurant.

i think this is the first time i bought a card and presents for my mom on my own. before this if i ever wrote on birthday cards, it's the ones bought by my bros. my family isn't really much for giving gifts and celebrating birthdays after babah's gone, so that explains a lot why i'm not good with gifts and birthdays. it still happens but it's not a big thing anymore. not that my mom minds, she's got everything she could possibly get in the past, and she's just not that type who cares. but i care for her regardless. even though i myself stopped receiving gifts from family years ago, and i never mind not getting any. my bros being bros and i haramized my mom from giving me anything. i already have a lot to be thankful for :)

but i always wish i knew better how to handle these situations. i didn't know what to buy for her, but i do know her favourite colour. so i bought everything red! red cake, red things. hehe, i tried. i once bought my mom a pen, from kedai buku sekolah rendah, and was reluctant to give it to her. kesian. could you cry. i bought my mom a pen from school. let it be known that at that time i wasn't close to her, so i felt awkward handing her an awkward gift. i felt even more awkward wishing her. so i just handed it to her and left. after i started becoming close to her, i wanted to give her everything in the world and the universe but i didn't have the means. but now, now i can go wherever i want on my own and buy whatever i want for her :)

and i make it a point not to just do that on special days. i do that on any day i can.

like i posted on fb,

tolong jangan berkira dengan mak bapak kita. masa, duit, tenaga. ni bukan pasal tak terkira duit dan tenaga dorang yang dorang dah korbankan untuk kita. ni pasal masa kita dengan mak bapak kita yang kita taktau sampai bila kita boleh kira. 

it's not about what they've done for us, it's about what we can do for them 

no matter how much more capable your parents are doing things for you than you them. this applies to everyone, regardless of your parents' capability. if you can't lessen their burden, don't be their burden. no matter how light you are as a burden. in other words, don't be a brat.

get it? okay good.

when i went home, tadaaa!

my mom said thanks. even after she looked at the presents, even after she read the card.

"tu je reaction ma?" and i laughed.

if i were her i would have said a lot more, but that's only me.

i know my mom and i love her just the way she is :)