The Last Love & Misadventure Adventure, MEETING LANG LEAV HERSELF

OK WHAT EVEN AM I WHAT EVEN IS KERETAPI i even procrastinate doing what i like i even procrastinate blogging about things i like like this one time when i freakiNG MET LANG LEAV

that's like, one month and 10 days ago. what. i can't even. whatever. ok i'm blogging about it now.

although, i must say, even though i have a lot of things to blog, i have another way to let it out, which is by talking to someone. when i talk to that person, as in type, it's like blogging in itself. we don't chat, we converse. long paragraphs you wouldn't wanna read em. it also happens that the things i'm thinking to put up here are the same things which are brought up in our conversations. coincidental conversations. so what i've been keeping in my mind flows out when it happens, which is often. that's why i can get by without blogging these days. but that doesn't mean i'm abandoning my blog. don crey ketapi pls don. i typ u ok.

so, that day. before i talk about that day, let me tell you about the day before that day. in fact, days. those were not some good days. i was upset about some things. the fact that everyone had left for home because exam just ended didn't help either. it's not that i felt alone. it just made me want to go home as well, but i couldn't, for reasons stated in a previous post. but in a way it did help me because at least i didn't have to pretend nothing's wrong, go outside the house and sit at my favourite spot to let my heart out. i did that just inside my own room, and in that moment i actually felt at home. 

i was not okay with everything and everyone but i wanted to go meet Lang anyway but i didn't have a plan so i wasn't really sure of going because i didn't feel like going with everything else i was feeling. but i knew i had to go. i would really regret it and blame myself if i didn't, just for the reason that i wasn't in the mood. 

so the next day i woke up. i looked at the hour. i looked around my room. and i realized i really needed to get the hell out of here. so i did. i knew i wouldn't want to return after i had accomplished my mission. so in my handbag i packed my er... one or two necessities. but that's basically it. i left. my steps felt light, as did my heart. i really had no idea what i would do and where else i would go, but that's the best part. after all, i was on my way to Love & Misadventure, wasn't i? better live up to the name!

to Kinokuniya, KLCC i went.

but that's not just it. when i arrived at the ktm station, i just bought my ticket and the train was coming. i ran passed people and squeezed in between the crowd, but then i saw them. two intec dudes. oh my god. dah kenapa korang tak balik kampung lagi?! what's awkward about meeting people you know is when you don't actually know them. you know each other's name, might have exchanged a couple of words on the internet and made eye contact in real life, but you don't know them to the point of "hey! kau buat pe kat sini? nak gi mana?" that's why i hoped they didn't see me when i was all alone. i hid behind people. when the train arrived i got into the lady zone, feeling relieved. i hoped we're not going to the same place.

i arrived at kl sentral, and just when i was about to buy lrt token, i saw those dudes again. oh my god. i hid behind a pillar. i sneaked a peak. dang, they're still in the line. i wasn't gonna waste my time hiding from them, i had someone to meet at 2 pm! and i had to have lunch at burger king first too! so i got in a line far enough from them, facing the other way. 

in the lrt, i guessed maybe they were going to some place else. there are many places young people would go, right? i should worry no more.

so i arrived! i walked like a woman with a purpose, a lady led by a cause, and.... a fangirl on a mission.

i went straight to kino. i arrived about an hour early. i asked the service counter where's Love & Misadventure, and she pointed it right next to her. there!!! i grabbed one copy with a big grin and asked her again, isn't there a booksigni- she answered straightaway, it's upstairs and i could go now. so i did. but there was already a line! i got in the line quickly. i had to queue for an hour eh? so be it!

but then... of course. a test in the mission. adam, my classmate since i was in third grade up to senior year in high school, the one who was my 'husband' for our school magazine class photoshoot, he suddenly asked me if i was at klcc. when he knew that i was there for the book signing, he asked me to get another copy for his sister and he would come to get it from me. woa wat r u serius? i was in the line! people were lining up behind me! someone idk, a chinese lady who worked at the bookstore or for the publisher or as the event planner idk she looked busy and in charge and moving around, she walked passed me and i asked her "excuse me are there other copies up here or do i have to go down or-" she answered "uh oh yes over there, em don't worry i stand in for you" then she stepped in, taking my place in the line omg so nice ok thanks i went over there and uuuu there's a whole rack of Love & Misadventure!!! nobody had to worry about it being sold out anytime soon! i thanked her a million times. people just smiled lol.

then after a while the line became this. multiple lines.

i guess everything does happen for a reason. it just takes a while for us to know what the reason is. in this case, the reason was this: to get her signature, you must present your proof of payment first. had i bought it earlier, or someone else bought it for me or give it to me, or the stock lasted the first time i went on my Love & Misadventure journey, i'm sure i would have lost the resit. hence no signature. no Lang to meet. no picture. that's also what bugged me that day. i came alone. who's gonna take my picture for me? could i take a selfie with lang, no? i sad.

i look at those fans who came with their friends, or their boyfriends. usually their friends were fans as well, and their boyfriends were only there to accompany them and capture the moment. one chinese couple in front of me, the girlfriend told her boyfriend how and when to take the pictures. then another chinese couple heard them, they started to have a chat and the boyfriend of the latter couple said to that of the former "just keep clicking, you can't go wrong if you keep taking pictures." i couldn't help but laughed. that's so true. good for you girl to have such a boyfriend who knows the business, haha. then they kept chatting about lang and her poetry. meanwhile, i was looking for anyone who seemed approachable so i could ask their favour, to take my picture. eh mestiii. 

so i asked a chinese lady beside me hehe. notice i purposely matched my attire with the book cover?

talking about being a true fan!

it was such an experience going to a book signing. it was my first time :) to be in a place, standing and queuing and waiting with all these fans, it felt good. i felt like i was a part of something. you know what you love has maaaaaaany fans all around the world, and you certainly are not alone, and you certainly can share your love with them on the internet, but you don't really feel it until you really be there together in the real world. like the time when i went to watch the last harry potter movie on the local premier day, i was alone but i didn't feel alone because the whole cinema was true fans on their own scale for having booked and bought the earliest tickets, cried and clapped together when the movie ended, and when the credit rolled a group waved their phones like wands and yelled "MISCHIEF MANAGED!", something so sentimental and sad to us.

that was kind of what it was like at the book signing. everyone was so excited, they talked to each other. some of them came together, some did not, but they talked anyway. around me were people with companies so i couldn't really chat my excitement away. i heard people talking about uploading their picture on tumblr and lang would reblog them. i heard people talking about how they were so nervous to meet her. people saying where is she, asking is she here? i even saw someone from the internet world! 

i knew that was her but she was with her friends and we're separated by people so i couldn't go to her. i forget how we met, well virtually, but i guess it started from blogging world. or was it tumblr first? i don't remember. one way or another, led to the other. but i was the one who reached out to her because i saw how much of a potterhead she was, and i don't normally reach out to strangers alright. we once commented on blog posts, chatted on tumblr, tweeted (yes i had twitter once upon a time) but then we both got busy. i got into college, she's in her final year in medic school. this year, lang posted about something on facebook. i left a comment, telling her to come to malaysia, and then i saw this akak's comment about the same thing. i sent her a private message telling her who i was, since i go by different names on blog and tumblr. she remembered me! she told me she tried searching for me on facebook using my blog email but couldn't find me. that's because i use different emails for facebook, blog, tumblr, and formal contact, *wink hehe. i met her on the internet because of harry potter (she's as much a fan as i am, and i don't say that a lot alright), and then i met her in the real world because of lang leav (well almost, after i had my book signed i searched for her but she was no longer there tsk.) it's amazing how literature can bring people together, eh?

after a while, lang leav's finally here!!! i was at the back of the crowd, the last person in my line, i didn't see her coming. suddenly she was there!! and i heard her voice! we were told to sit but being at the back had its privileges. i just stood and had the best view hehe. i snapped the pictures away and even recorded her reading her poems :)

the short poetry recital session was followed by question and answer session, and the book signing session started right after that. everybody got up and was pumped up, camera at the ready. andddd only then adam came. heh. i'm short and he's tall so it was kinda hard to locate each other. when we saw each other he told me he just wanted to stand outside the line. as my turn was approaching he came closer because i asked him to take my picture, haha. kira kosong-kosong la aku tolong kau kau tolong aku tol tak. but when it was my turn, the chinese lady who stood in for me while i went to take another copy for adam's sister was there and she acted like the important person she was so she ended up being the one taking my picture. adam just stood beside her laughing at how excited i was -..-

i wasn't that excited. seriously. the first thing i said when i came to her, with a calm, cool, collected manner, was "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" AND THEN I JUST SMILED THE WHOLE TIME WHILE TALKING TO HER SHE'S SO NICE AND I ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH HER LONGER THAN OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE SHE LIKED TALKING TO ME.

..... ok it's because i had to ask her to sign two copies and she asked me things and i told her things and then she got confused so the chinese lady explained to her and also because we were given a paper earlier and i thought i was supposed to write what i wanted to write about the book or her but actually i was supposed to write what i wanted her to write for me. for example, i should have written something like "I LOVE YOU AMA YOU'RE THE BEST FAN, lang leav" but instead i wrote something like "I LOVE YOU LANG YOU'RE THE BEST ARTIST, ama" but of course what i wrote was sweeter, some lines which rhyme hehe. so when she saw the paper, she was confused again, and i had to explain then she thanked me for what i wrote and i asked her to keep the paper and just write anything in the book. then the chinese lady had to shout so everyone could hear her when she told them, again, the purpose of the paper, BUT WITH CLEARER INSTRUCTION. so that's how i got embarrassed in front of my beloved poet and all them people. which i wasn't! BECAUSE I SPENT TIME WITH HER LONGER THAN ANY OF YOU! HAH! i screamed inside as i left with a smile on my face. adam was still laughing -..-

SO HAPPY!

everything happens for a reason. after a couple of episodes of being upset because of Love & Misadventure, i finally got it. i finally bought it. with my own money. on my own journey. i not only bought it, but i got to meet the author, have her signed my copy of her masterpiece, take a picture with her, and even talked to her!

haaaappppyyyyy :)

no matter how gedik adam is and how melayan i am, it's all role plays only we're actually good decent shy people lol. plus i've seen him the nerdiest when we were 9 so there's nothing he can be embarrassed about anymore hahaha, what's a few pickup lines can do right? he's come a long way! we bring fun to the table yo!!!

so we just had to have a picture together! memories! i was so happy that day i could take pictures of everything!

after we took this one i said "kau la ni tinggi sangat" and yes big grandpa glasses are just his style

"weh girlfriend kau tau tak kau kat sini"

"tau. dia tau aku jumpa kau."

"kau bagitau diaa?"

"ye la"

"uuuuuu"

"mesti la bagitau"

"nak tengok girlfriend kau!"

"aku takde gambar dia"

"alaaa. takkan takde? 

"betul laaa"

"asal???"

after i learnt his reason, i realized adam still hasn't really changed after all heheh

"kau? mana boyfriend?"

"hah? aku mana ada boyfriend"

"yeee la tu"

"betul lah!"

"takkan takde?"

"kalau aku ada kau rasa dia biar je ke aku jalan sengsorang jejauh camni?"

"hahaha"

baru kau faham ye yang aku wanita berdikari! tak perlu lelaki! lulz

"kau nak buatpe pasni?"

"tah taktau. kau?"

"aku pun takde buat pape. balik kot. tapi kalau kau nak jenjalan aku temanla, kesian lak kau sengsorang."

"eh takpe balik je la! aku boleh la sengsorang lek jee."

"kau datang jejauh sengsorang ni sebab nak beli buku ni je la? sanggup eh"

"mestila sanggup! actually aku dah baca dah buku tu, siap save dalam laptop lagi hahaha"

"hok aloh"

"tapi aku nakla beli jugak, itu la yang kau tak fahammm"

"hmm so kau nak gi mana ni?"

"aku taktau, serius aku takde plan langsung. aku yolo gila ni."

"taknak makan ke apa ke? dah datang jejauh takkan nak balik terus"

"aku memang malas nak balik shah alam. aku rasa cam nak balik rumah or pegi upm jumpa hazirah"

"pergi camni je tak bawak pape?"

"yolo"

so we both headed to the lrt. we were talking and i was laughing about something when i saw them... the two intec dudes. i saw the first one, and then i looked at the second one next to him, who caught my eye, we made eye contact OMG WHAT DO I DO. SO I SMILED. HE WASN'T EVEN SMILING WHY DID I SMILE??? did he see who i was walking with? some guy?! wearing matching coloured cloths?! is this why she was alone before?! no wonder she's laughing like she's happy?! lol i was paranoid for a few minutes. they certainly didn't think any of that, they just saw hey that's ama and thought of nothing more. but still. what a perfect timing like we couldn't have bumped into each other some other time, OR NOT AT ALL.

adam wanted to buy Aunt Anne's, and he offered to belanja me! he insisted but i was still paranoid to have the appetite lol such a waste. so i just stood in the line with him. if i were going back home i would buy some for my mom, but i've made my decision about my destination. upon reaching the lrt adam asked me was i going back to shah alam, or home, or going to upm? i said upm. he asked if i ever went to upm before. i said no. he said pergh gila ah kau. i said baru la yolo. aku tak penah pun tetiba je nak pegi sini sana sesuka hati walaupun tak tau kat mana, first time ni. "aku tengah texting ngan hazirah ni tanya camne nak pegi sana sume haha." while waited for our lrt we talked, and then his came first. bye. i was alone again. this time, with Love & Misadventure in my hand :')

on my way hazirah was excited that i'm going to her place she didn't believe it and was even nervous! so cute. i bought her some chocolates as well because she wanted some chocolates, comfort food as she called it. and then i made it! i arrived at upm on my own for the first time just following directions and hopping from one public transport to another and finally i'm here!

yeah

when i arrived at her dorm college i was like where the hell am i... what if the cab dropped me at the wrong place. this is a hella big uni. just walking towards the dorm building is far enough. where on earth are you hazirah?! and then there she was, waving me from her room. the queen datang kau tak turun pun?! suruh aku naik sendiri?! amboi amboi amboi. she couldn't believe i was there right in front of her eyes. aww. for you i will. you couldn't come and accompany me at klcc so i came to accompany you instead! she's bored and alone, because she didn't have a roommate anymore so that meant...... we had all the room to ourselves! yeah pardaaaayyy!

parday pebendanya belum tengah malam dia dah tidur. sleepover apanya gini. i disappoint. i spent my time camwhoring in her room, taking selfies of me with her sleeping as the background hahaha. ye ye je kata boleh late night girl talk takpe dia tak tido awal walaupun esok ada kelas takpeee. konon. sape suruh petang tu heret aku round upm naik beskal?! kan dah penat! omg that evening. i told her i hated her. "I HATE YOUUU TAKNAK DATANG UPM DAH THIS IS THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME" i said, short of breath. i'm not much of an athlete okaaay, so don't blame me. cycling up and down the hills in upm was killing meee. you should love me for who i am not change me to be like you! hahaha. mentang2 la dak upm, dah biasa naik beskal merata-rata. it's cool, but cruel. i would lose weight if i were to stay in upm. that's good. but with the amount of torture cycling offers, that's bad.

aku adela gak cycle kat shah alam (best gilos) tapi takdela sampai nak tercabut kaki rasa nak mati pffft.

ku tak sanggup lagi. lebih sanggup gemuk jika begini

(but adam said aku makin kurus! hahaha optical illusion at its best)

apa sesengih i hetchu

can you imagine how feminine i was? riding the bicycle dressing like that, wearing handbag. at some points i just hold the handle with one hand because my other hand was holding my bag, or i was lazy so i cycled in a "i'm here for the experience not the exercise, i'm here for breathing in cool air not gasping for air" way. 

dahla ada kejadian memalukan. we both were walking to tempat letak basikal, and i was talking about how long had it been since the last time i cycled on a road with many other vehicles not to mention buses and there are many buses in upm what if i got into an accident what if i fell... and at that moment, it happened.

"camne kalau kita jatuh-"

dan aku terjatuh. kemudian semuanya berlaku dengan pantas. aku terdiam sebab terkejut. did i really fall after talking about falling? hazirah pulak pandang belakang sebab tengok kenapa aku tetiba diam, eh mana ama? tengok-tengok aku dah terduduk kat lantai. aku pandang dia, dia pandang aku. pastu dua-dua gelak gegilaaaaaa. she just stood there and laughed. i just sat there and laughed. a woman in a car just stayed in the car and laughed. at me. she tried to look like she wasn't laughing. she failed. aku taknak bangun sebab maluuu pastu penat oh gelak lemah lutut nak bangun camni. we couldn't stop laughing. it was ridiculous. i fell after i mentioned the word fall? gelak sampai berair-air mata bunyi cam menangis. sakit sikitla sebab jatuh terduduk tapi sakit lagi perut gelak. tetiba dengar suara laki, tapak kaki mereka mendekati. terus aku bangun. bongok gila ahhh.

luckily no other moment of mulut masin happened. phewh.

after upm torturing tour ended, we went to a cafe. everyone was like wearing sport attire, t-shirt, sweat pants, sport shoes, riding bicycles, walking, jogging, that i couldn't help but ask "memang budak upm kuar petang exercise eh?" serious you'd just have to ask! nobody, i repeat nobody i saw wore like a blouse, or a skirt, or a dress, jeans, formal or hipster attire, or anything else. hazirah told me that's just normal, so how do people at intec dress? all possible ways to dress and all different senses of fashion, honey. cehhh puyus. dak dak upm semua sangatlah nature friendly and healthy kot, bagus bagus. minum jap lelepak, eusha, gegossip, cecer. pastu balik kolej kediaman di mana sesi visitor photoshoot diadakan sampai senja.

malam tu dah mandi pakai hazirah punya toiletries, basuh baju pakai hazirah punya sabun dan berus, sidai baju pastu pakai baju hazirah pula, ditinggalkan hazirah cos she's got a meeting. dak dak degree memang begini. namun begitu beliau prihatin akan kebajikanku. sibuk fikir aku nak makan apa semua, i felt so loved haha. i was touched :') after she left me with food only then she went out. mungkin sebab ada orang tanya "dah bagi ama makan ke belum?" hahaha macamla aku ni anak dia ke kucing dia ke apa, "bagi makan" lol. so while she was out i was alone. but i was really glad i came. it was not much, but it was a getaway i needed :')

got to tell her a few things, we talked about some things, take my mind off things, that's the best part.

i have camwhore complex. it's a disorder. i want my pictures to be taken but they end up ugly (actually it's me) so it's rather pointless to point a camera at me but i never give up. lulz. the one holding the camera is the one who gives up because i see the picture, i delete it, and i ask them to snap it again. haha

after many attempts i was disappointed and i told hazirah

"camne ni, awak yang kena jadi photographer kita kawen nanti! buatla kita nampak cantik!"

memember, so i expect a free service! kira wedding gift la. but then we agreed to hire a pro instead. because

"kita dah hire so keje photographer la untuk buat kita nampak cantik, bukan salah kita kalau gambar tak cantik!"

LOL. what if i hire a photographer but i look bad in the photographs, do i still have to pay? lolol

i'm better at taking pictures of myself than having people taking pictures of me so here some selfiesss

my face after facing a near death experience: exercising. that's why i looked like a corpse.

hazirah's face: pwedday as always. well, live up to the name la. she's the cuter half, but i'm the better half.

she's the one who called me her better half, i'm just honouring her opinion tqluvyuhaz HAHA

that morning i woke up, she was getting dressed for class. what am i gonna do while you're goneee? just sleep she said. so i kept on sleeping lulz. when i woke up again, her block was quiet and empty except for a couple of girls and makcik cleaners. upm made me felt so peaceful, as if i'm on a holiday trip, with the fresh air and the chirping birds and the greenery. aku jela yang peaceful pun, orang lain miserable kena gi class muahahah. i had the bathroom all to myself, and the bedroom all to myself, and i waited for hazirah to come back. she came back with lunch for me, such a mother she was, practicing maybe, then when she was out for her afternoon class i left with her as well, to go back to reality: intec. i wished i could stay for another day, she wanted me to stay too, so cute this mother, but i just had to leave.

thank you for your hospitality. tsk.

like i said, like a mother.

she even tweeted this picture of me leaving, and even one when i just arrived.

so happy to see me come and so sad to see me leave. oh mommy.

i returned to intec, feeling fine, and fresh. it was like i got better, or i became someone new. idk, but i like it. i've always wanted getaways and holidays, not for the fun itself, but for the escape it gives me. yet i've never felt like this. when all i did was visit hazirah at her university. but it was enough. maybe because i was alone on the journey, i felt free, i had liberty, i spent time with her, i surrounded myself with nature, i let things out, i let myself lost and i found myself again. i like that.

some people think it's crazy that i was willing to go to KLCC from shah alam, alone, just to meat Lang Leav. even crazier when i decided to go to serdang for the first time to have an unplanned sleepover with Hazirah. a misadventure for love. but sometimes in life, you've gotta have some Love & Misadventure. 

the feeling of finally getting what you want, the feeling of being found in a new place as you were lost in your own, the feeling of going with your gut.  

so worth it :)