My Only Pointer in MJSC.

iklan: Time Traveling and How Scissors Are Sexy.

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i am positive that Form 4 is going to be just as Form 1 was. in term of friendship, adaptability and academic achievement. for the first two, its gonna be much difficult than ever to reach a point when i am comfortable enough to avoid making breaking down as a weekly basis. academically, i sucked when i was in Form 1, and i sense that history will be repeated again.

sometimes i've gotta take the credits, too. i admit i thought that i was going places but it appeared to be the opposite. if i hadnt dropped out of MJSC, maybe now i am somewhere in a PKP. oops, did i blow much from my trumpet? pardon. when you feel inferior, you tend to seek something to make yourself superior. the same goes with how you are determine in making yourself appear to achieve less than other people do, when actually you are on top of them. its only normal, isnt it?

i remember getting 3.5 for final sem 1 in Serting, receiving Principal's Award. those who were in Principal's List, pointer 3.5 and above, gotta join the night trip to KFC. at that time, KFC was a heaven. KFC was the best thing Jempol had to offer, unlike at the present. three years ago i had to endure the nausea caused from riding up Bukit Putus yg bersimpang siur mcm ular kena palu, a spot famous for accidents, now the roads are better. i tell you Kecik, you got the timing right.

about the pointer i got, i wouldnt be proud of it at all, if i wasnt in such a horrible state during the exam week. i had this terrible fever, when you can feel how hot your skin is, how much heat your breath gives, how your eyes are puffy and all red you can see blood vessels in them. i could barely stand and talk, even my friends noticed my body temperature as they lightly brushed me by accident. of course, i didnt study anything, i was too busy forcing my eyelids to stay open. if it had not been for the exam, i would have packed my things and left.

but exam was being held and i had to bear it all. surprisingly, i got into the Principal's list without even doing revision. but sadly, i knew i could have done much better if only my immune system didnt betray me. damn you, unsympathetic high fever.

now i realized i had my chances, if only i things didnt go wrong and i could stand them. if only i stayed, i might have been in Principal's list every semester, entered various competitions and be polished to the maximum level, radiated hidden talents and strengths better. at Serting i could have been anyone. but here? i'm still the old me.

i wonder if i have made my life a waste, the past and the future. can a 16-year-old think that she's wasted the golden ticket, thus her whole life? well, i can.

future is consists of thousands pieces of a mysterious puzzle, and i am afraid if some pieces are broken due to my reckless steps. please, no.