ALLAH Ar-Rahman, a thanks.

I’m reasonably feeling guilty for what allah is showering me now. I’m not that good. I’m not that perfect. Still he pleasures me with almost everything I pray for. I got the As for some subjects I suck at and aku tak layak langsung nak terima semua ni. I was like crying knowing I get the As. Sumpah sebak. And that’s only the little things allah gave me, and there are like trillion with the ten zeros other things he has been given me, and I didn’t care to thank him.

I only realized I got the As, and not the air he provides so I’m not choked to death. Maybe it’s the same with all of us kan? Bnda yg dah ade depan mata kite tak perasan. Pastu bnda mcm result exam la yg kite tau nak bersyukur. So us. So human. So, ignorant.

I don’t think I deserve all this. Not that I foolishly refused the advantages and benefits I have been given, for the sake that I’m not qualified. Of course not, ya allah of course not. I’m just wondering how indescribably generous HE is, towards a person with flaws like me. I’m not that kind. Still he helps me in my exams, in life. Ohh how small we are. How, helpless we actually are.

I made mistakes over and over again but he helps me. That’s what has been bothering me. I’m afraid he is just making everything so easy, and then the opposite for PMR. I’m afraid he isn’t planning to show me how to deal with real life now; indeed he will do it next year.

But I’m just curious kan? How can he be so generous towards a person like me? Maybe that’s just because he is the Ar-Rahman. No need to question his blessings, don’t. I want to thank you ya allah for u always help me through thick and thin. Maybe this is how u balanced it kan?

Because I notice u haven’t make it THAT easy for me with everything else, something else. Kan? I’m so thankful for EVERYTHING u have blessed me with.

And please, one more, the most important thing of all;

Please, please, please prevent the thing I fear most from happening,

To stay as far away, to wait a long time ahead, to not come, when I’m not capable of facing it. I will never be, as long as I’m who I am now. Please ya allah.

And thank you, for everything.

Ps ; I will come up with posts about the times I had in sklk, starting with the moment waiting for UPSR result. Actually the UPSR thing I was about to write it today, as today is the day when the kids got their result, but my heart told my hands to write this instead.

Got to go HEROES is waiting!