Finally.

balik tadi, along bgtau mama.
something that may be a good news.
all this time konon ade bnda baek nak jd kat family ni,
tp mesti tak ke mane.

they wanted to sell my dad's office.
bangunan tuh.
for some reason i will NOT TELL here.
so alongku cakap yg ade uncle cina ni nak beli,
half of the building.
but at the same time there is another uncle who wants to buy it,
the WHOLE BANGUNAN with a very satisfying price.

they were thinking,
nak jual kat sape semua.
and i deeply thought,
that i DONT WANT to sell the building, not at all.
no way man.
my dad retired from that colonel askar thing at a very young age,
he worked so hard to get projects and to have that company.
he even once being asked to pay rasuah by a KNOWN MAN I WILL NOT SPEAK HIS NAME.
padahal babah yg penat2 kerja, and die dapat reward tanah kat sarawak something
utk pembangunan.
tapi sebab si tutt tu kate

"kalau kau nak tanah kau, lepas aku dulu"

which means rasuah. tapi because my beloved dad had a sense of an angel,
he let go of the once of a lifetime opportunity.

what i try to bring here is,
after all these years,
they want to sell my dad's piles of sweat?

NO WAY.
dahla kebun nak jual, means there will be no asset at all
for me to remember my dad,
or to pick up where and what he's left.

i know we have to sell everything,
for reasons i once again will not tell you,
but
but
but i wont.
i just wont.

and that, was the first time i ever told people about my real life,
i think. i do tell a couple of friends,
but not as much as i keep alone.
that's the first time i opened up.

and i really dont want to do it again,
as to me,
there are things that should be left unsaid,
and there are things that would be,
different, if people know.
the miracle,
even the pain, is not so special anymore.

pelik hah??? memang.