i hope nobody will read this. but i know some will. who cares, this is my blog. my blogger tab is opened, hence. i usually write about this stuff on tumblr. but i haven't written on tumblr for a very, very, long time. i feel bad about that too. but now let's focus on this blog, and make up with it first. blog, i'm gonna spill. tonight, i'm reminded of how bad i've made... guys feel about me. i know it was bad. it was. i could go on about how bad was bad and how could i be so sure, but let's not. let's just say making them feel bad, made me feel bad, that i have shed tears myself. sometimes not because i felt guilty, but because i knew what they felt was genuine and i couldn't give it back. and i realized i couldn't even feel for myself what they felt for me, such feelings... and i cried. most of the times i was careful, but when it comes to others' feelings it's just beyond your control. it was ages ago, so long ago. so i know i'm just a speck of dust in their lives now. but tonight - as a random act of kindness, or i don't know, out of guilt, or simply, completely random 2 am moments for the people i used to know - i pray that they are happy. i do.
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