I'm blogging in English so it means this post is the equivalent of my monologue. you can safely ignore it and turn to other worth-reading materials. but when i blog in Malay, it should occur to you naturally that i want you to read every crap i write. FAHAM?
Its the end of the holiday (thanks to PMR we're given a week off), yet i have done zero revision. i didn't know how i wasted a week just like that. it happens all the time.
i've reminded myself to study, to not let the stupid magic box get the best of me and to defeat the devils hanging on my eyelids. but none of that came true. my bad sleeping routine makes the phrase 'sleep like a baby' irrelevant. i sleep like a dead man.
i will never take things for granted. i never feel good about myself or be lazy because i think i'm gonna score. i am lazy because its a disease i cant treat. i'm not arrogance, i hope so. but i'm afraid i'm being such unconsciously.
i need a wake up call. a slap on the face so hard to make me really realize, not just all talk, that i need to change so badly because i can't bare a B. but i dont like wake up calls. they're nasty. they pull you towards the centre of the earth, make you feel you're the lamest loser, make you lost hope.
i can't just depend on Allah's unconditional help. my mother's endless prayers. and my best friend luck. if they run out and i can't depend on myself to succeed, i'm gonna be a big fat failure. literally. because when i fail i will be upset, leading to involuntary impulse of the mouth to chew something. double disasters there.
final is next week. this is probably the most important exam in my life so far because it will like, determine how well i can survive SPM. and honestly, i dont want next year's Anugerah Cemerlang to be the only one i dont get to go.
Its the end of the holiday (thanks to PMR we're given a week off), yet i have done zero revision. i didn't know how i wasted a week just like that. it happens all the time.
i've reminded myself to study, to not let the stupid magic box get the best of me and to defeat the devils hanging on my eyelids. but none of that came true. my bad sleeping routine makes the phrase 'sleep like a baby' irrelevant. i sleep like a dead man.
i will never take things for granted. i never feel good about myself or be lazy because i think i'm gonna score. i am lazy because its a disease i cant treat. i'm not arrogance, i hope so. but i'm afraid i'm being such unconsciously.
i need a wake up call. a slap on the face so hard to make me really realize, not just all talk, that i need to change so badly because i can't bare a B. but i dont like wake up calls. they're nasty. they pull you towards the centre of the earth, make you feel you're the lamest loser, make you lost hope.
i can't just depend on Allah's unconditional help. my mother's endless prayers. and my best friend luck. if they run out and i can't depend on myself to succeed, i'm gonna be a big fat failure. literally. because when i fail i will be upset, leading to involuntary impulse of the mouth to chew something. double disasters there.
final is next week. this is probably the most important exam in my life so far because it will like, determine how well i can survive SPM. and honestly, i dont want next year's Anugerah Cemerlang to be the only one i dont get to go.
GUDLAK EBERIBADEH.
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